Important features of speech etiquette

Today, correct and cultural speech no longer occupies the former dominant place in society. Most people communicate without due respect and reverence for each other, thus causing misunderstanding, unnecessary quarrels and swearing.

First of all, you need to find out what etiquette is. Summarizing the majority of definitions, we can conclude that etiquette is a set of generally accepted rules concerning the norms of behavior, appearance, and also communication between people. In turn, speech etiquette is a certain language norms of communication established in society.

This concept appeared in France during the reign of Louis XIV. The court ladies and gentlemen were given special “labels” - cards where recommendations were written on how to behave at a table at a banquet, when a ball is going on, a solemn reception of foreign guests takes place, etc. over time, entered the common people.

From time immemorial and to this day in the culture of each ethnic group existed and there are their own special norms of communication and behavior in society. These rules help tactfully enter into voice contact with a person, without hitting his personal feelings and emotions.

Features of speech etiquette consist in a number of language and social properties:

1. The inevitability of etiquette forms. This means that if a person wants to be a full-fledged part of society (a group of people), then he needs to follow generally accepted standards of behavior. Otherwise, the society may reject him - people will not want to communicate with him, maintain close contact.
2. Speech etiquette is public politeness. It is always flattering to communicate with a well-mannered person, and it is especially pleasant to answer with a reciprocal “kind” word. There are cases when people are unpleasant to each other, but they are in one team. It is here that speech etiquette will help, because all people want comfortable communication without swear words and harsh expressions.
3. The need to comply with speech formulas. The speech action of a cultured person cannot do without a sequence of stages. The beginning of a conversation always begins with a greeting, followed by the main part - the conversation. The dialogue ends with goodbye and nothing else.
4. Smoothing conflicts and conflict situations. Just saying “sorry” or “sorry” will help to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
5. Ability to show the level of relationships between the interlocutors. For close circle people, as a rule, they use warmer words of greeting and communication in general (“Hello”, “How glad I am to see you”, etc.). Unfamiliar, just stick to the "official" ("Hello", "Good afternoon").

The manner of communicating with people is always a direct indicator of the level of education of a person. To become a worthy member of society, it is necessary to form communication skills in yourself, without which in the modern world it will be very difficult.

From the moment of birth, the child begins to receive the necessary knowledge for the formation of skills. Conversational skill is the basis of informed communication, without which it is difficult to exist.Now he pays great attention not only in the family, but also in educational institutions (school, university). Communication culture is understood as a model of speech behavior, which must be relied upon at the time of conversation with another individual. Its full formation depends on many components: the environment in which a person grew up, the level of education of his parents, the quality of education received, personal aspirations.

Forming a culture of communication skills is a long and complicated process. It is based on a number of goals and objectives, reaching which you can fully master the skill of tactful and polite communication with people in secular society and at home. They aim (goals and objectives) to develop the following qualities:

1. sociability as an individual personality trait;
2. the formation of communicative relationships in society;
3. lack of isolation from society;
4. social activity;
5. academic excellence;
6. the development of the individual quick adaptation to various activities (games, training, etc.).

Each person sees and feels the invisible connection between the culture of speech and etiquette. It seems that these concepts are absolutely close and equal to each other, but this is not quite so. First you need to determine what constitutes a culture in a broad sense.

Culture is understood to mean that a person has certain communicative qualities and knowledge, good reading, and consequently a sufficient vocabulary, awareness in a number of many questions, the presence of upbringing, and the ability to behave in society and alone with oneself.

In turn, the culture of conversation or communication is an image of an individual's speech, his ability to lead a conversation, structured to express his thoughts. This concept is very difficult to understand, so there is still a lot of debate about the accuracy of this definition.

In Russia and abroad, this branch of linguistics as a science is engaged in the development of rules for communication and their systematization. Also, the culture of speech means the study and application of the rules and norms of written and oral speech, punctuation, accentology, ethics and other sections of linguistics.

From a scientific point of view, speech is defined as "correct" or "incorrect." This implies the correct use of words in different language situations. Examples:

• “Ehay already home! "(To speak correctly - go);
• “Put the bread on the table? "(The word" lay down "is not used without prefixes, therefore it is necessary to use only such correct forms - to put, lay out, impose, etc.)

If a person calls himself cultural, it is assumed that he has a number of distinctive qualities: he has a large or above-average vocabulary, the ability to correctly and correctly express his thoughts, the desire to raise the level of knowledge in the field of linguistics and ethical norms. From ancient times to the present day, the standard of etiquette and highly cultured communication is literary speech. In the classical works is the basis of the correct Russian language. Therefore, it is safe to say that speech etiquette is fully interrelated with the culture of communication.

Without a quality education, a good upbringing and a special desire to improve communicative qualities, a person will not be able to fully respect the culture of speech, as he will be just not good at it. The environment has a particular influence on the development of the language culture of the individual. Speech habits are “practiced” among friends and relatives.

Moreover, speech culture is directly related to such an ethical category as politeness, which, in turn, also characterizes the speaker (polite person or rude). In this regard, we can say that people who do not comply with the norms of communication, show the interlocutor the lack of culture, their bad manners and impoliteness.For example, a person did not greet at the beginning of a conversation, uses profanity, swear words, does not use respectful “you” when it was expected and implied.

Speech etiquette performs a number of important functions. Without them, it is difficult to lay down an idea about him, as well as to understand how it manifests itself at the time of communication between people.

One of the main functions of the language is communicative, because the basis of speech etiquette is communication. In turn, it consists of a number of other tasks, without which it could not fully function:

• Sociative (aimed at establishing contact). This implies the initial establishment of communication with the interlocutor, maintaining attention. A special role at the stage of contact setting is sign language. As a rule, people look eyes in eyes, smile. Usually this is done unconsciously, on a subconscious level, in order to show the joy of meeting and beginning a dialogue, they stretch their hands for a handshake (on close acquaintance).
• Connotative. This function is aimed at the manifestation of politeness in relation to each other. This applies to both the beginning of the dialogue and the entire communication in general.
• Regulatory. It has a direct connection with the above. From the title it is clear that it regulates the relations between people during communication. In addition, its purpose is to convince the interlocutor in something, encourage him to action or vice versa, the prohibition to do something.
• Emotional. Each conversation has its own level of emotionality, which is set from the very beginning. It depends on the degree of familiarity of people, the room in which they are located (a public place or a cozy table in the corner of a cafe), as well as on the mood of each individual at the time of speech.

Some linguists supplement this list with the following functions:

• Imperative. It implies the influence of opponents on each other during a conversation through gestures and facial expressions. With the help of open poses, you can draw a person to yourself, scare or push, “increasing your volumes” (the speaker throws up his hands high and wide, spreads his legs, looks upwards).
• Discussion and polemical. In other words - the dispute.

Based on the above functions, the following series of properties of speech etiquette are distinguished:

1. thanks to him, a person can feel a full-fledged part of the team;
2. it helps to establish communication between people;
3. helps to learn information about the interlocutor;
4. with it you can show your degree of respect for your opponent;
5. Speech etiquette contributes to the establishment of a positive emotional state, which helps to prolong the conversation and make more friendly contact.

If you turn to the modern dictionary of the Russian language, then you can find a definition of speech as a form of communication between people with the help of sounds that form the basis of the words from which sentences are built, and gestures.

In turn, speech is internal (“dialogue in the head”) and external. External communication is divided into written and oral. And oral communication takes the form of a dialogue or monologue. Moreover, written speech is secondary, and oral speech is primary.

Dialogue - the process of communication between two or more individuals for the purpose of exchanging information, impressions, experiences, emotions. Monologue - the speech of one person. It can be addressed to the audience, itself or the reader.

The structure of writing is more conservative than oral.It also rigidly “requires” to use punctuation marks, the purpose of which is to convey an exact intention and an emotional component. Writing words in a letter is a complex and interesting process. Before you write something, a person ponders what he wants to say and convey to the reader, and then how correctly (grammatically and stylistically) to write it down.

Audible verbal communication is oral speech. It is situational, limited by the time and scope of the space where the speaker directly speaks. Oral communication can be characterized in such categories as:

• content (cognitive, material, emotional, encouraging action and activity);
• interaction technology (role communication, business, secular, etc.);
• purpose of communication.

If we talk about speech in a secular society, in this situation, people communicate on topics that are prescribed in speech etiquette. In fact, it is empty, pointless and polite communication. To some extent it can be called mandatory. People may perceive a person’s behavior as an insult in his own way, if he does not communicate and does not greet anyone at a secular reception or corporate party.

In a business conversation, the main task is to achieve agreement and approval by the opponent in any matter of interest or business.

The purpose of any speech act is the impact on the interlocutor. The conversation was created in order to convey information to the person, have fun, convince him of anything. Speech is a unique phenomenon that is observed only in a human being. The more meaningful and expressive it is, the more effect it will produce.

The following elements of speech are distinguished:

• Content. This is one of the most important elements, since it reflects the speaker’s true knowledge, vocabulary, erudition, as well as the ability to convey to the audience the main topic of the conversation. If the speaker “floats” in the subject, is poorly informed and uses incomprehensible expressions and phrases, then the listener will immediately understand and lose interest. If it is often observed for an individual, then soon interest will be lost to him as well as to a person.
• Natural speech. First of all, a person must be confident in what he says and how he says it. This will help to naturally conduct a dialogue without taking on any role. It is much easier for people to perceive calm speech without “official” and pretense. It is very important that the pose of the speaking individual is also natural. All movements, turns, steps should be smooth, measured.

• Composition. This is a consistent, orderly arrangement of parts of speech and their logical interconnection. The composition is divided into five stages: contact setting, introduction, main speech, conclusion, summing up. If you remove one of them, then the report of information will be more complex process.
• Comprehensibility. Before you say something, you need to think about whether the listener will understand you correctly. Therefore, it is necessary to select the appropriate stylistic means of expression of thought. The speaker should say the words clearly and moderately loudly, keep to a certain tempo (not too quickly, but not slowly), and sentences in their length should be moderate. Try to reveal the meaning of abbreviations and complex foreign concepts.
• Emotionality It is clear that the speech of a person should always convey a certain share of emotions. They can be transmitted using intonation, expression and "juicy" words. Thanks to this, the opponent will be able to fully grasp the essence of the conversation and become interested.
• Eye contact. This element of speech helps not only to establish contact, but also to keep it.Through eye-to-eye contact, people show their interest and also demonstrate their involvement in the conversation. But eye contact needs to be established correctly. If you look closely and do not blink, the other person can perceive it as an act of aggression.
• Non-verbal communication. Gestures, facial expressions and postures play a big role during a conversation. They help to convey information, convey their attitude to the words spoken and attract the interlocutor. It is always pleasant to listen to a person who “helps” himself with his face and hands. Normal verbal communication is dull and dry, without gestures and facial expressions.

• Right. The speech of the individual must be correct, without speech errors and reservations.
• Moderation. Brevity is the soul of wit. The smaller and more informative the sentences, the more the interlocutor will understand. Nobody likes “water” in conversation.
• Technique and style of speech. Many have noticed that it is much more pleasant to listen to one particular person than another. It depends on the style of communication. The voice of the person telling should not be too loud, calm, the words should be pronounced clearly, without “eating” the endings.
• "Unnecessary words. This applies to the so-called parasitic words. They fill up awkward pauses or places in a sentence where a person does not know what to say (“so to speak,” “shorter,” “behold,” “well,” “actually,” etc.). It is necessary to get rid of them, since they do not give a speech of beauty.

Sometimes non-verbal communication can show more than the individual tries to say. In this regard, in the course of communication with an unfamiliar person, leadership or colleague, you need to monitor your gestures and movements. The non-voice transmission of information is almost unconsciously and can affect the emotional mood of the conversation.

Body language includes gestures, postures, facial expressions. In turn, gestures are individual (they can be associated with physiological features, habits), emotional, ritual (when a person is baptized, praying, etc.) and generally accepted (stretching a hand for a handshake).

An important trace in body language postpones human activity. It may also change depending on the surrounding factors.

Conversation with an official or boss is not always conducted when you truly want it. Therefore, you need to control your body to avoid unpleasant questions.

Masters of oratory advise not to clench your palms into fists, not to hide your hands back (perceived as a threat), try not to close (cross your legs, especially unethical to put your legs on the leg in such a way that the toe of the foot "pokes" into the person).

Special attention should be paid to the facial muscles. What is in the soul is also on the face. Of course, when you talk with a close friend, you can let go of your emotions, but in the business sphere this is unacceptable. At interviews, negotiations and business meetings it is better not to squeeze or bite your lips. (so a person expresses his distrust and concern) try to look into the eyes or the entire audience. If the look is constantly set aside or down, then the person expresses his disinterest, fatigue.

According to the rules of speech etiquette with strangers and in a formal setting, it is better to keep yourself restrained, without unnecessary emotional leaks.As for the usual everyday communication with friends and relatives, in this case, you can allow yourself to relax, so that gestures and postures echo those words.

Speech etiquette requires a person to comply with certain standards, since without them there would be no culture of communication itself. The rules are divided into two groups: strictly prohibiting and of a more recommendatory nature (they are determined by the situation and the place in which communication takes place). Speech behavior also has its own rules.

The content of speech norms includes:

• language compliance with literary norms;
• Extract staged (first comes the greeting, then the main part of the conversation, then the end of the conversation);
• avoiding swear words, rudeness, tactless and disrespectful behavior;
• the choice of the tone and manner of communication suitable for the situation;
• the use of accurate terminology and professionalism without errors.

The speech etiquette rules list the following rules of communication:

• in your speech, you must try to avoid “empty”, not bearing in itself the meaning of words, as well as monotonous speech turns and expressions; The communication should take place at a level accessible to the interlocutor, while using clear words and phrases.
• in the process of dialogue, let your opponent speak out, not interrupt him and listen to the end;
• the most important thing is to be polite and tactful.

The basis of any conversation is a series of rules and regulations that must be followed. In speech etiquette distinguish the concept of speech formulas. They help to “arrange” the conversation between people in stages. There are the following stages of conversation:

• Start communication (greeting of the interlocutor or acquaintance with him). Here, as a rule, the person himself chooses the form of treatment. It all depends on the gender of the people entering the dialogue, their age and emotional state. If they are teenagers, they can say to each other, “Hi! "And it will be fine. In the case when people starting a conversation have a different age group, it is better to use the words “Hello”, “Good afternoon / evening”. When these are old acquaintances, communication can begin quite emotionally: “How nice to see you! ", "Long time no see! ". There are no strict regulations at this stage if this is normal everyday communication, but in the case of business meetings it is necessary to adhere to the “high” style.
• Basic conversation. In this part, the development of dialogue depends on the situation. This may be a typical fleeting meeting on the street, a solemn event (wedding, anniversary, birthday), a funeral or an office conversation. In the case when it is a holiday, the formulas of communication are divided into two branches - an invitation to the interlocutor for a celebration or a significant event and a congratulation (congratulatory speech with the wishes).
• Invitation. In this situation it is better to use the following words: “I would like to invite you,” “I will be glad to see you,” “I ask you to accept my invitation,” etc.
• Wishes. Here, the speech formulas are as follows: “accept my congratulations from the bottom of my heart,” “let me congratulate you,” “on behalf of the whole team I wish ...”, etc.

• Sad eventsassociated with the loss of a loved one, etc. It is very important that the encouraging words do not sound dry and formal, without the proper emotional coloring. It is very absurd and inappropriate with a smile and active gestures to communicate with a person in such grief. In these difficult days for a person it is necessary to use the following phrases: “accept my condolences”, “sincerely sympathize with your grief”, “be bravehearted”, etc.

• Working office days. It should be understood that communication with a colleague, a subordinate and the head will have different formulas of speech etiquette. In a dialogue with each of these people, words of compliment, advice, encouragement, a request for a service, etc. may be encountered.

• Tips and requests. When a person advises an opponent, the following templates are used: “I would like to advise you ...”, “if I may, I will give you advice”, “I advise you”, etc. It’s easy to agree that sometimes it’s hard to ask someone for a service and uncomfortable. A well-mannered person will feel a little awkwardness. In such a situation, the following words are used: “may I ask you about ...”, “do not consider it rude, but I need your help,” “I ask, help me,” and others.

• Acknowledgments. It is more pleasant to express gratitude, but it also needs to be properly presented: “I thank you from the bottom of my heart,” “I am very grateful to you,” “thank you,” etc.
• Compliments and words of encouragement also require proper submission. It is important that a person understands whom he is giving a compliment, as this may be perceived as flattery as a guide, and an unfamiliar person will consider him a rudeness or a mockery. Therefore, the following expressions are regulated here: “you are an excellent companion,” “your skills have really helped us in this matter,” “you look good today,” and others.

• Do not forget about the form of treatment to the person. Many sources indicate that at work and with unfamiliar people it is better to adhere to the form of “you”, since “you” is a more personal and everyday appeal.
• Completion of communication. After the main part of the conversation has reached its climax, the third stage begins - the logical end of the dialogue. Farewell to man also has different forms. It may be the usual wish of a good day or good health. Sometimes the end of the dialogue may end with the words of hope for a new meeting: “See you soon,” “I hope I see you not for the last time”, “I would very much like to meet you again,” and so on. or they will meet again: “I’m not sure if we will see each other again,” “Do not remember what comes of you,” “I will remember only good things about you.”

These formulas are divided into 3 stylistic groups:

1. Neutral. Here words are used without emotional coloring. They are used in everyday communication, at work in the office, as well as at home (“hello”, “thank you”, “please”, “have a nice day”, etc.).
2. Elevated. Words and expressions of this group are intended for solemn and significant events. Usually they express the emotional state of a person and his thoughts (“I am very sorry,” “I am very glad to see you,” “I really hope to meet you soon,” etc.).
3. Reduced. This includes phrases and expressions that are used in an informal setting among "their". They can be very rough and colloquial ("salute", "hell", "healthy"). They are most often used by teenagers and young people.

All the above formulas of speech etiquette are not strict rules of daily communication. Of course, in a formal setting one should adhere to a certain order, but in everyday life one can use words more close to a “warm” conversation (“hi / bye”, “glad to meet”, “see you tomorrow”, etc.).

At first glance it may seem that it is very simple to conduct a secular cultural conversation, but this is not quite so. For a person without special communication skills it will be hard to bring it to life. Casual communication with family, friends and family varies greatly with business and official conversation.

Speech is spontaneous and situational, so it must be monitored and corrected (if required). Speech etiquette "calls" for loyalty, attentiveness to the interlocutor, as well as for the observance of purity and correctness of speech as such.

Recommendations for the cultural conversation:

• Avoiding abusive words, insults, curses and humiliations in relation to the opponent. Because of their use, the person who speaks them loses the respect of the listener. This is especially prohibited in the field of business communication (office, educational institution). The most important and basic rule is mutual respect during a dialogue.
• Lack of self-centeredness in conversation. One should try not to dwell on oneself, one’s problems, experiences and emotions, one cannot be intrusive, boastful and annoying. Otherwise, in a short time, a person simply will not want to communicate with such an individual.
• Interlocutor must show interest in communication. It is always pleasant to tell something to a person when he is interested in a subject of conversation. In this regard, eye contact, clarifying questions, open postures are very important.
• Match the topic of conversation with the placein which it happens with the person with whom it is conducted. It is not necessary to discuss personal or intimate questions with an unfamiliar interlocutor. The conversation will be awkward and repulsive. You also need to understand where the dialogue is started. For example, during a theater performance it would be extremely inappropriate and tactless to have a conversation.

• The conversation should be started only if it really does not distract the opponent from something important. If it is clear that a person is in a hurry somewhere, is doing something, then it is better to clarify with him the time when he will be able to communicate.
• Speech style must meet the standards of business conversation. In terms of the educational process or work environment, it is necessary to keep track of the spoken words, since there they can have consequences.
• Moderate gestures. The body gives out emotions and intentions. With strong and expressive gestures, it is difficult for the other person to focus on the topic of conversation. Moreover, it can be regarded as a threat.
• You must comply with age limits. With a person several times older than himself, it is necessary to use an appeal to “you” or by name and patronymic. This shows respect for the interlocutor. With approximately the same age group, strangers should also use this form. If people are familiar, communication can take place according to personal rules that have long been established. It will be very rude to "poke" in relation to the younger interlocutor from an adult person.

Absolutely every dialogue or communication is a speech situation. Conversation between individuals can take various forms, it all depends on a number of factors. These include gender composition, time, place, subject, motive.

Sex interlocutor plays an important role. In terms of emotional coloring, the conversation of two young men will always be different from the dialogue of the girls, as well as the dialogue between a man and a woman.

The use of different speech formulas directly depends on the place. If this is an official reception, meeting, interview and other responsible events, then it is necessary to use the words "high level". In the case when this is a common meeting on the street or on the bus, you can use stylistically neutral expressions and words.

Speech situations are divided into the following types:

• Official business. Here there are people who perform the following social roles: the head is a subordinate, the teacher is a student, the waiter is a visitor, etc. In this case, strict observance of ethical norms and rules of speech culture is necessary. Violations will be immediately noted by the interlocutor and may have consequences.
• Informal (informal). Communication here is calm and easy. There is no need for strict etiquette. In this situation, dialogues occur between relatives, close friends, classmates. But it is worth noting the fact that when a stranger appears in such a group of people, the conversation from this point on should be built within the framework of speech etiquette.
• Semiformal. This type has a very vague framework of communicative contacts. Under her fall colleagues, neighbors, family as a whole. People communicate according to the rules of the team. This is a simple form of communication, which has some ethical limitations.

One of the important assets of the people is culture and speech etiquette, which do not exist without each other. Each country has its own ethical standards and rules of communication. They can sometimes seem strange and unusual for a Russian person.

Each culture has its own speech formulas, originating from the origins of the formation of the nation and the state itself. They reflect established folk habits and customs, as well as the attitude of society to men and women (as is known, in Arab countries it is considered unethical to touch a girl and communicate with her without the presence of the accompanying person).

For example, the inhabitants of the Caucasus (Ossetians, Kabardians, Dagestanis and others) have specific features of greeting. These words are chosen for the situation: a person greets a stranger, a guest entering the house, a farmer in different ways. Depends the beginning of the conversation and the age. It also differs by gender.

Mongolians also greet very unusual. Words of greeting depend on the time of year. In winter, they can meet a person with the words: “How does the winter go? »This habit has remained from a settled way of life, when it was necessary to constantly move from place to place. In the autumn time they may ask: “Is there much fat in cattle? "

If we talk about Eastern culture, in China they ask at a meeting whether a person is hungry or eaten today. And the provincial inhabitants of Cambodia ask: “Are you happy today?”

Not only speech norms differ, but also gestures. Europeans at the meeting stretch their hands for a handshake (men), and if they are very close friends, they kiss on the cheek.

The culture of each nation is unique and it finds its manifestation in all spheres of people's life, speech etiquette is also no exception.

About these and other subtleties of speech etiquette, see below.