Rules of conduct in a conflict situation

The nature of behavior in a given situation is different for everyone. Someone remains quiet and calm, and another, on the contrary, will become hot-tempered and aggressive. When people begin to argue and conflict with each other, they are more dominated by emotions that disable clarity of consciousness, so often they do not even try to hear their opponent. It is important to consider all behaviors in different life situations.

If a person is irritated and behaves aggressively, then it is necessary to understand the reason for this behavior, understand the situation and help solve this problem. And until the conflict issue is resolved, it will be very difficult to reach an agreement with such a person.

When a person is aggressive, negative emotions overwhelm him, and after a period of containment inside they are thrown on others. In a calm and good mood, people behave adequately, in no way vyzhlazhaya anger on each other. They are quite ready to hear someone else's opinion.

In the period of aggression, you need to imagine the good moments lately and believe that you can go through a bad phase of life. You can also imagine around your aura a favorable atmosphere that brings good, peace and comfort.

You can bring down the aggression of a partner by unexpectedly changing the topic, or by asking him for a confidential conversation or valuable life advice. Remind him of what life's interesting moments you have been tied together or make a compliment, for example: "In anger you become even more beautiful." The main thing is that your positive emotions influence the consciousness of the partner and switch its aggression.

In no case should you give your partner negative thoughts. Do not talk to him about your emotions or blame anything. You can say a more delicate phrase, for example: “I’m a little saddened by the way you talk to me, let's not interfere anymore? ". Ask your partner to formulate the result of the conversation and resolve the problem.

Hostility to the interlocutor can alienate you from a wise decision. Do not let your emotions take precedence over you, you need to look for compromise solutions

Ask the other person to tell their thoughts about the situation. You should not look right and guilty, but it is necessary to decide together what to do next. In this case, both opponents must be satisfied with the decision. If it is impossible to agree in an amicable way, then it is possible to put emphasis in the conversation on facts from life, laws, or to cite many other arguments.

With any outcome, do not give the partner feel discomfort and defeat.

You can not respond with aggression on aggression. In no case should not touch the personal feelings of the interlocutor, otherwise he will not forgive you for this. It is necessary to express the claim correctly and as briefly as possible. In no case can not insult a person.

We must try to generate thoughts in one direction. Even if it seems that you have come to a mutual decision, you still need to ask each other a question: “Do I understand you correctly? "Or" You wanted to say exactly that? ".This will help you eliminate misunderstandings and lead to the right decision much sooner.

When talking you need to keep on equal footing. In case of conflicts, many begin to behave aggressively in response, or try to remain silent and move away from the stimulus. You should not do this, you need to keep calm and firmly.

Do not be afraid of apologies. If you yourself are wrong in a conversation, you should apologize and not continue the conflict. Only strong and confident people are able to accept their mistakes. Do not be afraid of it.

In conflict situations, it makes no sense to prove something, because a person, apart from his negative emotions, does not see any arguments before him. Attempts to suppress such an opponent and “reach out” to him will not lead to positive results.

Need to shut up the first. If you see that there is no point trying to talk in an amicable way, better try to shut up. It is not necessary to demand from the interlocutor of this, because it will infuriate him even more. It's easier for you to shut up for a period of quarrel. Silence will stop the conflict situation and get out of it.

In each conflict, two are involved, if the first side drops out of it, then the second does not make sense to continue the quarrel. If no partner can shut up, the conflict will continue and it will probably come to assault, which in our time is punishable by law. therefore It is worth avoiding such an outcome by all means, it is better to shut up and ignore the situation that annoys both of you.

It is not necessary to characterize the state of the conflicting. You should not use foul language, ask questions on emotions or reassure the interlocutor. "Calming" phrases only provoke negative manifestations.

When leaving the room do not slam the door. You can avoid fights and conflicts if you quietly and quietly leave the room. Sometimes you just have to say “finally” an offensive word, or just to slam the door abruptly at the exit, and the scandal can resume with new force and lead to sad consequences.

It is necessary to have a dialogue some time after a quarrel. When you are silent, the partner may decide that you have surrendered and exhausted your strength. Hold a pause until the person cools off from their emotions, and then with calm nerves, return to the solution of questions.

In any life situations, you need to analyze your opponent and then choose the right behavior strategy. There are several strategies for dealing with conflicts:

1. When a person shies away from talking or simply does not see in them the meaning.
2. A person tries to compete and does not want to give in in a conflict situation.
3. Collaboration is an attempt to go to a meeting and help solve a problem.
4. Adaptation to the situation - it is possible to make concessions so that the conflict does not develop further.
5. Compromise is the most profitable strategy of all listed because it most often leads to the solution of a problem and the termination of a conflict conversation.

“Global” causes for conflict are different:

• Economic or socio-political. When people try to contradict politics or have a different economic outlook.
• Socio-demographic (negative attitude of a person towards the opposite sex or towards representatives of another nation).
• Socio-psychological causes are associated with mood, with actions.
• Individual psychological affect differences in personalities.

Conflicts are divided by source of the following types:

1. emotional (people are incompatible by their individual psychological characteristics);
2. business (usually occur due to the fact that in the structure of the production of incorrectly distributed duties).

The subjective level of acceptance of the conflict is also different:

• erroneous (there were no real reasons for the conflict);
• potential (the reasons for the unpleasant conversation were outlined, but the conflict itself in fact was not);
• true or “real” conflict (the opposition of the participants is open and justified).

Conflicts arise in several areas:

1. in social circles (government, rallies, demonstrations with large crowds);
2. family (such conflicts usually arise in a circle of relatives, between husband and wife, brother and sister, child and parents);
3. production (they arise about production work in work teams).

After conflicts, we all feel devastated and crushed, focusing on the problem of conflict, waste our nerves and emotions. We must be more loyal to the problems.

Take care of each other, try to solve unpleasant situations peacefully. Know the rules and basics of ethical standards in order to properly communicate with your boss and colleagues in an office setting. For non-conflict, effective and constructive communication, you should always have a memo, the use of which is mandatory.

The psychologist will tell you about how to behave in conflict situations in the next video.