Rules of conduct are designed to regulate our everyday life in society, help us communicate, set the necessary framework, going beyond which leads at least to ignorance and bad manners, and the maximum is regarded as deviant behavior. The rules governing behavior in society are called etiquette.
What is it?
Etiquette - a set of rules of human behavior in relation to people in different life situations. There are five groups of basic rules of etiquette:
- ability to present yourself - The rules relate to the appearance of a person: dress with taste, care for your skin and figure, keep your posture, walk beautifully, moderately and gesticulate to the place;
- rule of speech and communication - manner and tone of speech, the ability to competently express their thoughts, greet, say goodbye, forgive, build a constructive conflict;
- table etiquette - accuracy at the table and during meals, the ability to properly use cutlery, to set the table;
- rules of conduct in society - the ability to behave in public places (museums, theaters, libraries, hospitals, and so on);
- Business Etiquette - the ability to build relationships with colleagues, superiors, the manner of doing business politely and with respect to partners.
Anyone who is able to use the basic rules gives the impression of being a well-mannered and polite person, with whom it is pleasant to communicate and build relationships. Such a person is ready to meet, he is happy to do favors and fulfill his requests for help.
In addition to the main groups of etiquette, there are some gender differences in the rules of conduct for men, women, and children.
Good manners for men
A well-mannered man should be tasteful and appropriately dressed. He politely communicates with the girl, his speech is calm, devoid of sharpness and high tone. He is always ready to help a woman, no matter if she is familiar to him or not. For example, it is natural and easy for him to lift heavy bags with groceries to a neighbor on the porch, open the car door and give a hand to the girl or skip it first at the entrance. A man should be attentive to women's needs.
With the male sex, he is also polite, does not show his superiority and does not brag. Conflict resolves polite dialogue and does not climb the first on the rampage. He is fair with subordinates, does not raise his voice, treats respectfully the work of other people, appreciates their time and energy spent. In short, a man worthy.
Basic rules for men:
- if, inviting someone to a restaurant, a man says: “I invite you”, it means that he is ready to pay for this person;
- walking with a woman, a man should be on the left side of her, and on the right can only be soldiers, to salute, if necessary;
- you should always open the door for a woman and skip it first;
- when you exit the car, you need to open the door and give a hand to a woman;
- help the woman put on her coat and temporarily hold her handbag if necessary.
Etiquette for women
All generally binding rules apply to women. A woman should be able to submit herself - this applies to both the appearance and the manner of communication. The image should be selected with taste and to the place.
Polite dialogue, tact, modesty, a straight back and a beautiful gait - the perfect version of a modern woman. She competently renders signs of attention to men.
Frank flirting with a man is inappropriate, as is excessive obsession, since this behavior is called "frivolity."
Communicating with a man, a woman should be respectful and tactful, but at the same time know her rights. She has the right to refuse obsessive attention signs and warn a man that he is beyond the limits of permissible.
From nature, more emotional women should skillfully hide negative emotions in society, avoid high-pitched words, swear words, and even excessive manifestations of joy.
Basic rules for women:
- to be indoors in a hat and mittens is impossible, but it is possible in a hat and gloves;
- bright makeup is appropriate only at parties;
- It is necessary to use spirits in moderation: if a woman feels her perfume, it means that there are too many of them;
- Moderation in jewelery is required: do not wear rings over gloves and mitts - you can wear a bracelet, while the maximum number of jewelery, including decorative buttons, is 13 items.
Standards of conduct for children
The first thing parents should remember is that the child imitates them.
Therefore, it is necessary to be all the right example for your child and carefully regulate his behavior in public places and on the playground.
Children from two and a half years are usually happy to greet and say goodbye to everyone - such behavior should be encouraged in relation to familiar adults and children.
On the playground, their toys are always uninteresting as long as they do not interest another child. In this case, you need to offer children the exchange of toys for a while - so the children will learn to share more calmly and ask permission to play someone else's toy.
The fact that you can not make noise on the bus, run in the store and scream, every kid from 3-4 years old should know, and especially his parents.
As children grow older, it is worthwhile to instill in them the correct manner of communication with parents, adults, and in educational institutions with teachers and educators. Proper behavior for children from 6 years:
- you can’t interrupt and interfere with adults, daring and being rude to elders and teachers;
- to treat elderly people with courtesy and respect, to help them on the street or in transport;
- behave decently in public places: do not run around the shop hall, do not scream at the museum and theater and similar places.
But teaching children the rules of etiquette, it is necessary to remember the rules of safety: children can sometimes be too helpful, and criminals can take advantage of this.
General rules
Below are the current generally accepted rules of behavior:
- Greeting - This is a necessary sign of courtesy to a friend or person with whom you need to make acquaintance. In addition, entering the room, you must say hello first.
- Parting. “Leaving in English” is indecent in our society. Therefore, closing the door behind you, you must say goodbye.
- Thanks - for the service rendered to the attendants, for the help of relatives, friends, to the stranger who held the elevator door.
- Decent appearance - neat clean clothes to the place and the weather, as well as the preservation of personal hygiene.
What not to do:
- Come to visit without notice - it is necessary to notify in advance about your visit, even to relatives and friends, because unexpected guests bring a lot of trouble.
- Read someone else's correspondence and look into someone else's smartphone. A person has the right to privacy.
- Ask uncomfortable questions: asking about salary, asking about personal, unless, of course, the interviewee does not touch on the topic of private life.
- Violently argue and clash. In a conflict situation, an educated person does not shout at his opponent, does not stoop to insults and calmly gives his arguments.
- Enter without knocking into a closed room.It is imperative to knock on the closed door, both at home and at work, entering the office to a colleague or boss, thereby saving the person behind the door from an awkward situation.
Below are the rules for public places.
- It is required to keep silence in the appropriate rooms: in the library, hospital, museum, theater, cinema.
- You can not litter on the street, in the park and any other public places.
- It is forbidden to smoke and drink alcohol on the street benches, and even more so near children's playgrounds.
- To spit, poking around in the nose, blowing your nose on the pavement is unacceptable - it is not only uncultured, but also disgusting passersby.
- Making the way in the crowd, you need to use the following words: “let me pass,” “let me,” “be kind.”
- If you are going to a theater, restaurant, political event or a corporate party, you need to choose the right outfit.
- In the cinema or theater to get to their places you need to face those sitting. If the seats are in the middle, then you need to go to them in advance, so that later on the extreme seated spectators will not be inconvenienced.
- During the performance you can not eat - for this there is an intermission and buffet.
- A man should go to the wardrobe after the performance himself and take a coat for his lady, while helping her to put it on.
- The museum can not talk loudly, do not push, making his way to the exhibits. No need to rush - you should safely move from one exhibit to another and not touch them with your hands. It is necessary to listen to the guide and not interrupt him, ask questions only after he asks for it.
- To dry an umbrella in any room should be in a closed form.
- You can not put the phone on the table in guests, restaurants, during an interview - this is a sign of disrespect, which is regarded as a reluctance to communicate with the interviewee.
- More bags, bags, briefcases can not be put on the table in a restaurant or cafe. Bags are hung on the handle of a chair, and a briefcase or bag is placed next to the chair on the floor. It is allowed to put only a small elegant handbag on the table.
Etiquette in public transport
The rules are as follows:
- When entering any public transport or subway, you must skip going.
- It is necessary to pass immediately to the empty places, do not linger at the door.
- Give place to older people, pregnant women and women with children and people with limited mobility.
- Hitting someone or accidentally pushing, you need to apologize.
Etiquette in the store
Rules:
- When entering the store, you must first skip the people leaving, then let the first pregnant women, the elderly and people with limited mobility first, and then go in by yourself.
- With animals, a lit cigarette and ice cream can not enter the store.
- For service seller should be grateful.
- Defective merchandise should be returned with a polite explanation.
- The queue in the store should be respected, but women with young children, pregnant and disabled people should be skipped ahead.
General rules of decency are the instrument governing the framework beyond which society should not go.
Subtleties of communication
Psychological component of our life is communication. In primitive society, people communicated only through gestures and sounds. Now it happens in different ways. In the modern world there are two main types of communication:
- Verbal - using speech. This is the most basic way by which the entire planet communicates.
- Nonverbal - using gestures, facial expressions and feelings: tactile, visual, auditory, olfactory. With the help of feelings and gestures communicate not only people, but also animals.
Communication regulates relationships in everyday life, at work, in family life, that is, absolutely in any area of life. Therefore, it will not be superfluous to know about some subtleties that will help you understand others and be understood by yourself:
- The ability to listen and hear. The ability to listen helps to understand a person's feelings.It is very important for us to be heard, and therefore people with such an ability immediately evoke trust and gratitude. To learn to listen, you need to tune in to the interlocutor who wants to convey their feelings or expectations. For this you need to leave your thoughts for a while, listen and not interrupt him until the person speaks out and waits for the advice of the listener.
- The ability to express their negative feelings necessarily in family life. It is important to correctly express feelings and not to offend a partner, to tell in time about the accumulated offenses, because he may not guess what is happening in the heart of a loving person, because no one has yet learned to read other people's thoughts.
It is important to do this without reproach and cry, and we must remember that the insult comes at the act, and not at the person. And one should also inform that such an act has offended and asked not to do it again - an emotionally mature person will understand and will never do that in the future.
- The ability to express wishes and requests. If a person wants to fulfill his desires, you need to do without hints and ask directly, politely and in an understandable form. Thank you in advance, using the word "please" several times, as children do, because this little trick often works.
- The ability to communicate with a negative-minded person. Exposure to a negative person can lead to depression and even depression, deprive confidence and lower self-esteem.
This is why you should avoid such a “friend”, but if you don’t get away from communication, for example, with your boss, then you should adhere to the following recommendations:
- It is necessary to abstract and not take into your account the insults that they cause.
- Stay calm, prove your case with confidence and restraint, parrying the facts. Usually such people crave scandal, the same reaction to their anger and anger, but cold restraint can confuse them.
Not only such brawlers, but also another category of people who constantly complain, have a negative influence on a person - they just suck out all positive emotions. You can be tired of communicating with them. The best way is to avoid contact with such people or you can try to distract them with interesting news or topic.. But you should not tell them about your successes, as this will give a new wave of complaints and an excuse for envy.
Etiquette at a party and at the table
Knowledge of the culture of behavior at a party and at a table will help a person not to be trapped and not to pass for ignorance. The following items of etiquette are given for those who like not only to host guests, but also often come to visit.
Recommendations for receiving guests:
- the owner of the house welcomes guests at the door and helps to undress, then the hostess accompanies the new arrivals to the table and introduces the guests present;
- guests should be entertained with conversation, but not to impose topics for communication, and viewing home photos and videos only at the request of all those present;
- care must be taken to ensure that all guests have the necessary cutlery at the table.
Recommendations for guests:
- do not be late;
- a cultural and polite guest does not come empty-handed - flowers, a bottle of wine or chocolates will be an appropriate gift for the hostess of the house;
- if it is a small dinner or lunch, then it is necessary to praise the culinary abilities of the hostess, it is inappropriate at large parties;
- bad tone - sit silently and not communicate with other guests, you need to keep up the conversation;
- you can not leave without saying goodbye, you should thank the host for the evening and politely say goodbye to the other guests.
Table etiquette recommendations:
- Women sit at the table first, men help them in this by moving the chair.
- Elbows are not placed on the table - only hands are allowed to be put, besides, elbows should be pressed during meals.
- It is necessary to eat slowly, chewing food thoroughly. Not allowed to sip or smack.
- The meat should be cut into small pieces, while holding the knife in the right hand, and the fork in the left, there must be a fork. Eating with a knife is unacceptable.
- In the intervals between meals, the fork and knife are not left on the tablecloth, but put on a plate crosswise. Between the change of dishes, the fork and knife are also left on an empty plate, but already parallel to each other, while the knife is placed to the right of the fork.
- Before drinking from a glass, you need to blot your mouth with a napkin so as not to leave greasy stains on it.
- In the case when all the dishes are already on the table, you need to take them only with special devices set aside for each individual dish, and in no case with your spoon.
- Do not use a toothpick at the table.
- You can not talk with your mouth full, and leave the table without chewing food to the end.
- If the attack started sneezing or coughing, then you need to use a napkin.
- You should not force your table neighbor to try this or that dish - everyone has their own taste preferences.
- At the table should be easy and pleasant conversation.
Rules of familiarity with parents
In an effort to make a good impression on the parents of the second half, people make stupid mistakes. Therefore, coming to visit the parents of your loved one, you need to follow the following recommendations:
- Do not come empty-handed, but do not give alcoholic drinks to the father at the first meeting of the father. It is better to bring flowers to mom or cake to the table.
- Do not start a conversation first - it is better to wait until they turn to you.
- It is necessary to behave modestly, not to flatter and not praise the interior of the house.
- You should not refuse meals, it is worth remembering that the future mother-in-law or mother-in-law was preparing for you - you need to try to eat a little of everything and praise the hostess.
- No need to get involved in alcohol - it is better to try to stretch one glass of wine a little longer.
- Girls should not smoke on their first visit to their parents.
- It is necessary to take care of a decent appearance. Guys should wear trousers and a shirt or jeans and a shirt, but in no case wear shorts. The girl should avoid short shorts, skirts and dresses with a deep neckline and necklines.
- You should politely answer the questions of parents, do not tell jokes and avoid stupid jokes.
- When leaving, you should definitely invite your parents to visit you.
Dress up
A pleasant and tidy appearance, personal hygiene - the natural duties of any person. No one will be pleased to communicate with a person who smells unpleasant. Such simple things as daily shower visits, brushing your teeth and skin care must be carried out.
It is also important to correctly choose your wardrobe, which should contain things for all occasions.
At the same time, it is necessary to take into account the parameters of the figure so that the thing sits well and does not seem small, or, conversely, large.
When choosing the color of things you need to rely on the color of the skin, face and eyes. Each person has his own color type:
- Winter - skin can be almost white, or dark, hair - black or dark.
- Spring - blond hair and eyes, thin skin, pink lips.
- Summer - light brown, ashy hair. Gray, gray-blue, green, light brown eyes. Grayish-beige and slightly pink skin tone, pale pink lips.
- Autumn - golden skin, warm shades of eyes (brown, golden, dark brown), hair from golden to red shades.
For color types, winter and summer are well suited for things in cool colors, for spring and autumn - warm, pastel.
The wardrobe itself is divided into the following categories:
- Daily. Jeans, T-shirts, shirts, various pullovers and sweaters are appropriate here. Women can include in it dresses of a simple cut and skirts, in the summer - sundresses and shorts. Such clothes are convenient for meeting with friends, shopping, walking in the park or going with the children to the circus or to the museum.
- Business. Trouser suits are suitable for men and women, for the latter you can also use strict dresses and knee-length skirts, light-colored monophonic or thin striped shirts - in short, classic clothes for going to work, interviewing, business meetings, political events.
- Ceremonial or evening. Suitable for going to the theater, a concert, restaurants, cultural exhibitions and fashion shows, corporate parties. More free and elegant than a business wardrobe, but not too open and much less vulgar. Men wear tuxedos or classic suits with a jacket, women wear dresses, light iridescent fabrics, floor-length dresses with a cutout on the back, leg or deep cleavage are also allowed.
- Sports. Such clothes are suitable only for sports or active pastime: hiking in the woods or mountains, skiing or snowboarding, skating. It is unacceptable to engage in the gym in jeans and boots - it is not only not according to the rules, but also unsafe. Sportswear lasts well, has no decorative elements that can get stuck in the simulator. From shoes only light sneakers, well-kept the entire foot.
Before going to the gym or practicing any kind of sport, you need to remove all the jewelry, otherwise they can not only deteriorate, but also harm health.
These elementary rules of the dress code will help you choose the right clothes for the occasion.
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