Marital relations are a sensitive subject. In the family of any cases not happening, but nothing surprising in this. People are together for a long time, and they want new sensations, some just have the living conditions. Among the rash acts in this situation, betrayal stands out.
How often does this happen?
The years go by. A woman of any age always wants to be the center of attention. Such needs are especially felt by those who think extraordinarily, follow appearance and are engaged in self-improvement. Women who are looser and addicted to alcohol, of course, do not count here.
In most cases, married women are occupied by home and children. None of them specifically looking for love on the side. It all depends on a chance meeting. And this is how it happens often:
- in a casual man, a woman sees what is missing in her husband;
- since life does not connect yet, the couple is fun and interesting together;
- relations are established - light at the beginning, but difficult afterwards.
At first, neither a woman nor a man think that they are doing badly. The vortex of feelings is spinning and does not stop. In the end, there comes a moment when someone from friends or colleagues learns about this connection.
As the saying goes, “you can't hide a sewed bag”. First, behind the back can be heard whispering. Then there are "good people" who are happy to tell the spouse about your treason.
His reaction is hard to predict.
There will be a huge scandal, after which the husband will not leave the house, but will put you out the door. Another option: he will leave, slamming the door loudly. There is another option: he will be greatly offended, he will be afraid of divorce, but after your repentance he will forgive for the sake of his family and children. Then reconciliation of spouses will come, and, probably, the relations will play with new colors.
But this option would rather be the exception to the rule. And if a miracle does not happen, then the traitor should not count on an easy outcome of this case. Behind a painful divorce, such problems as deprivation of parental rights and loss of the place of residence can be pulled.
What to do if before the collapse of "hand set"?
So, the husband filed for divorce. How to behave further if your conscience hurts? How to get my husband back? First, do not despair. The next day no one will divorce you, but while there is time, then you can find a way out of any situation. Secondly, you need to "go into yourself" and analyze the situation. And ask yourself the question: "How to continue to live?".
Do not expect that your life will be the same, even if your husband forgives you. Be prepared for the fact that it will change dramatically. You will have to correct your mistakes day after day. To tolerate reproaches, humiliation and even insults. Not everyone can stand it. It may happen that you yourself want to leave the family hearth.
Therefore, ask yourself another important question: "Am I ready for such tests?". If you say yes to yourself, then act! Especially since you need to take responsibility for your actions, and you still need to earn the lost trust.
How to behave in order to receive forgiveness
Each of us has our own character. Someone is soft, and someone - stronger stone. Not any man will be able to forgive his wife for having exchanged him for another.
Women who fell for treason claim that their spouses then became simply unrecognizable. For male offended dignity, they paid their wrong half a cruel attitude.
Insults and beatings happened almost daily. Not every such stand. Repentant women are ready to do anything to regain confidence, even to endure humiliation and violence. In this case, they are difficult to understand.
However, there were those who seriously hoped for a quick marriage with her lover after the divorce. And in this situation, too, not everything is as smooth as it seems at first glance. To understand yourself and solve the problems, in both cases you need the help of a specialist.
Professional advice of a psychologist, of course, will help to return love to your family or soften the transition period until it becomes easier for you. But unfortunately, not every woman can afford it. A big role here is played by the money question, the choice of a good specialist and other moments. But the tips below will help or give you a little confidence. Analyze each item and you will definitely come to the right decision.
- Think about the question: “Is it worth it to continue the relationship with the former lover?” Perhaps it was a simple, meaningless affair for him or for you. And you just now understand how you really love your husband.
- The husband drove you out of the house with a scandal, and you were offended. After that, they decided to go live with a lover. Consider: were your meetings based on serious feelings? Perhaps this, in fact, a stranger man, too, will soon point to the door. Maybe he never intended to marry you. He has a beloved wife and children who have forgiven him for a long time (women in such situations are forgiven more often). Do not feed empty illusions. Despite the insult, do everything to return to the family.
- You have had such "unearthly love" on the side. You really want to stay with the new chosen one. Does he want the same? To find out, talk to your friend about it.
- A man who wants to marry you, the first will offer to marry. If he has not done this before, then you should not count on his support now. Suggestions of "hand and heart" from such a superficial friend, you probably will not wait. Come back home to your family.
So, you decided to return to her husband. Then do not delay your actions. Ask for an appointment or suggest you seriously talk at a time convenient for both. Usually a woman is very sorry that betrayed. Therefore, sincere tears and remorse, though not immediately, but then melt the heart of the jealous man.
Often, women begin to blame her husband for not spending much time with his family, lost at work. And so there was treason. Try to avoid harsh words and reproaches addressed to him. On the contrary, repent and ask for forgiveness. Think of the children and the need to live for their sake. They need a full family. Usually such arguments have some success.
If we are talking about treason, which was a long time ago, it is better not to admit it at all. But if there is nowhere to go, then remember: your husband is also very worried and does not want to break with you. Try to be persuasive. Give him a lot of arguments, for example, such as: “We will divorce, and then what? Will you find another? And if the other changes, so will you go from one to the other? What about children? Parents? Credit? Apartment? A machine?". Many spouses have something to lose, and such “iron” arguments convince them not to divorce.
The situation is complicated, and manipulative questions can save the family. The main thing after that is to improve relations and win the trust of her husband again.
After a betrayal, the family will also be helped by a joint visit to relatives with children. Perhaps the husband will understand that you have become very close people for a long time and it’s not easy for you all to part.
Itself destroyed, itself and restored
The husband, nevertheless, forgave you. This does not mean that tomorrow he will give flowers and talk to you as if nothing had happened. Most likely, his attitude towards you will be "cold."Do not expect from him in the near future fervent hugs and confessions.
Love can be returned only through perseverance and patience on the part of women. It is necessary to clearly formulate one desire for yourself: “I do not want to lose my family.” Strictly go to him. And these recommendations will help smooth the crack in the relationship.
- Try to avoid jokes on treason. Do not focus on anecdotes, movies, where the plot is based on the betrayal of the spouses.
- Do not provoke scandals. Do not cling to it on trifles. Do not shout at the spouse and his parents on children. On the contrary, try to make everyone reach out to you. Create an atmosphere of spiritual warmth.
- Do not be humiliated, and at the same time try to please the husband and children. For example, make a delicious breakfast and bring everyone to the table. This technique will bring you all together.
- Get ready for a family vacation. There you are distracted from problems. This will contribute to the development of romantic relationships.
- Start saving money to buy a car or a villa. Common aspirations of people unite.
- Communicate more with each other. Consult on trifles. For example, discuss together how you will organize the outlined holiday feast.
- Start, finally, knit him a sweater in the evenings. So you will demonstrate to your husband that you are no longer interested in intrigues on the side. You are busy with household chores.
There are many ways. Choose the one that finds a response in your soul. The period of testing feelings can last for years. All this time, keep yourself in hand, show your loyalty to your husband. In spite of everything, you are together and happy - you can cope with such a task, and many families confirm this. In life everything is possible, and hope dies last.
What to do if changed husband, see the next video.
