How to understand what a guy changes, and what to do?

Many consider love the main purpose of human life. It is this feeling that drives all of our most luminous motives, inspires and inspires us, but under one important condition - the feeling should be mutual. Unfortunately, not all relations are cloudless, and even the most harmonious unions pass various complex tests. One such test is the betrayal of a loved one.

The fair sex often ask questions about what is missing a man next to a woman and what exactly is pushing him to treason. What is the psychology of betrayal in general? It is wrong to believe that only polygamous male nature is to blame. After all, it happens that, departing from one companion, the guy begins a relationship with another girl and behaves towards her much better, is more anxious, shows more care and does not even think of changing, especially the first time when passion boils in his blood, and from the surging feelings literally dizzy. But this candy-bouquet period is rather fleeting, and more often after it follows a more calm and measured stage of relations in which the first serious quarrels and difficulties can manifest themselves.

Of course, there is definitely a woman’s fault in a man’s betrayal. It is not specifically her fault in front of him, but, first of all, before herself, that at some point she forgot about herself, completely dissolved in a person, fixated on him. Perhaps the man gave some signs, wanted a break in the relationship, as it is often called, a little fresh air. Perhaps the relationship needed a pause, because the separation is also measured by love.

During parting, people have time to rethink their relationship., to reconsider the situation, and it often happens that after a truce the situation in a couple becomes much better. True, it happens the other way around, when people in separation finally understand that their union has no future and cannot have it anymore. And even in this situation there is a plus: the lack of results is also a result, and you will not waste your precious years of life on meaningless and unpromising relationships. How exactly the situation is resolved will depend on each specific case and on the behavior of a man and a woman.

Before dramatizing and reasoning about the betrayals of the second half, you must first make sure whether there are real grounds for distrust and whether everything is really as bad as it seems, or is it just paranoia and fictions of violent girlish fantasy. If a man does not call for a long time, he may not be deceiving you, but the truth is busy at an important meeting and that is why he cannot answer the incoming call. Or, perhaps, the fateful confluence of circumstances intervened, and your loved one did not pick up the phone for two hours due to the accidentally switched on silent mode in the mobile phone.

But we must not forget: the more time a girl winds herself with conjectures and guesses, the more negativity accumulates in her and the more likely the outbreak of anger and jealousy in clarifying the relationship with a dear person. And this certainly will not help strengthen the union.On the contrary, in a man the confidence that a hysterical and dissatisfied woman, who is not self-confident, will grow stronger. In this case, it is better to follow the principle: "Do not watch a man, but rather watch yourself." But at the same time, if such alarming cases recur constantly, you should not close your eyes to the situation and pretend that nothing strange is happening, and you do not notice anything at all.

Many women who have been cheated often noticed that during an argument, in a fit of anger, a man might have temperfully quit some phrase that served as a kind of “wake-up call”, for example: “If you get me, I will go to another!” Or “I I can not stand your tantrums, there are girls with a character much better than you! ”. Of course, such statements do not appear just like that, from scratch. At such moments, the truth is to be wary and to reconsider their attitude to the situation.

Some women have such a delicate sense of intuition that even from a distance they feel something amiss. They notice how a man behaves, not like before, and mentally is not near her, but hovers somewhere in the clouds. Signs of betrayal can be regular unanswered calls, frequent late arrivals of your half under any plausible pretexts, for example, increased employment at work or a meeting with a long-time friend or acquaintance. He may not be lying to you, but he was really busy, but with often repeated delays and excuses there is reason to be wary.

But it is extremely difficult to understand exactly what a person has changed without catching him by the hand. unless there are any obvious signs of adultery, which include:

• romantic context messages not addressed to you;
• traces of lipstick on clothes;
• subtle fragrance of other women's perfume;
• availability of contraceptives (if you are not using them with a man).

Recognizing whether a man is cheating is often very difficult. In these matters in the male environment, they adhere to the principle of non-disclosure and strict conspiracy. As in the old joke: “I called my husband's friends to find out where he was: he spent the night at six, and at four he was still sleeping!” Men often try to hide the fact of treason until the last, except when they have already firmly decided to leave for another woman whom they loved and with whom they decided to start a family or start a serious relationship. And this, alas, also often happens.

The most offensive in treason is the feeling that you are neglected, you are betrayed, because it is your self-esteem that suffers the most, that is why it is so difficult to survive betrayal. Tolerate betrayal can only people who themselves are dishonest in this matter (also change) or who do not like their companion at all. In these cases, the couple can continue to exist when the woman pursues some mercenary goals and rationally approaches the question of relationships, lives at the expense of the man or uses it in some other way. About love in such cases is usually out of the question, and the fact of betrayal is perceived calmly and even with relief: “Well, finally! Found myself someone. Maybe it will be less pestering me now. ” However, such situations are rare.

A loving woman, having learned about treason, is always in shock. Her feelings often follow each other: from anger and rage to passion and desire to return her beloved. At this time, her emotional state is very unstable, and psychologists do not recommend making important decisions in the heat of the moment. It is important to weigh and ponder everything, try to regain composure, refrain from insulting the mistress and cheating husband, and sometimes it is extremely difficult to do this. The best option in this case is distance. How often everyone heard the saying: "To keep it - you need to let go." But it is easy to say, but difficult to do in real life. It is difficult to imagine that you will not be able to fall asleep and wake up now with the man you have already become. The willful behavior in this case will play a decisive role: will there be enough willpower to part with the person who has changed, will you manage to contain all angry experiences inside and not to run on his first whistle.

It is important to realize that if you lead yourself correctly and release a man, while retaining your face, without insults and curses in the next, then after a while, you yourself will feel better, you will feel that you have behaved beautifully, restraining aggression and anger. The better the impression you leave when parting - the higher the likelihood of the emergence of new good relations with another person who will love and appreciate you, because the whole world has not settled on the same man. In fact, there are a lot of decent and good people with whom you can create a couple and build good relations.

After parting with a man, a woman needs to diversify her leisure time as much as possible, for example, to sign up for fitness or cutting and sewing courses. It is not so important where exactly to start walking - the main thing is that she should have as little free time as possible, which could be spent on sadness and resentment, on memories and regret. After parting with a dear person, everyone experiences pain and suffering. Unfortunately, it’s not so easy to get rid of them, and the best doctor, as you know, is time. But you can greatly ease the experience by reviewing your attitude to the current situation, and try not to concentrate on your negative emotions, stop thinking about your failure. It is best to do something useful for yourself and your close relatives who are so in need of care and affection, because it is precisely they who will never betray and will always love us for who we are.

Unfortunately, often broken families with children, in which wives during a divorce manipulate parent-child relationships, prohibit the father from seeing his own children to keep her husband and have leverage on him. It is absolutely not recommended to do this, because the child is not at all to blame, that his father loved another woman and no longer wants to live with his biological mother. Ideally, the child should not observe the scandals and proceedings of the parents. All parties to the conflict will be more pleasant if the issue is resolved through a peaceful diplomatic way in which children will not suffer.

Is it worth it to forgive treason, to decide, first of all, the woman herself. If a man rethought his behavior and sincerely repents, then, of course, it can and can even be forgiven, because everyone has the right to make mistakes. But it is important to remember that if you forgive a man, then it is better not to remind him of this incident at the first convenient conflict case. It also happens that a man realizes too late that he was wrong and in vain went on about his feelings, and his ex-girlfriend or spouse is already happy with another person.

How to find out what a man changes, see the next video.