Women's treason: the causes, ways to identify and advice of a psychologist

Women's treason is unlike male. It has its own development mechanisms, its causes are always strikingly different from those of men. Therefore, female infidelity will manifest itself in a different way. About its features, as well as how to identify the betrayal of a wife or girl, will be discussed in this article.

It so happened that the infidelity of a woman to her chosen one is condemned by society more strictly and categorically than the betrayal of a man, although if you look at the situation from the outside, then the representatives of both sexes have equal rights to adultery. Another issue that men are more experiencing adultery. Self-esteem deceived by his beloved representative of the stronger sex falls, and his ability to work productively and interact with the world around him suffers. The consequences of female infidelity can be devastating. Much more serious than the consequences of male adultery.

Many stop the ancient instinct to preserve the hearth, many fear the consequences of "tarnished" reputation. It is only in the speeches of politicians that the two sexes are equal, in the life of a woman is still allowed and allowed by society far less than a man.

The psychology of a woman is such that she always attaches great importance to relationships, and relations on the side will not be an exception. Easy flirting for one night is not about women. If cheating takes place, then the situation - there is nowhere more serious. Therefore, the deceived spouse, no matter how painful he is, needs to start not with collecting a suitcase and diatribe at the wrong "traitor", but with a search for the causes, including in oneself. Only after that you will need to answer the question what to do next.

If a woman has changed, you can believe that she had very strong motives for this. A woman appreciates the emotional side of relationships, for her, ladies relationships lose all meaning. Therefore, one of the main causes of female infidelity can be considered the search for sincere contact, understanding, support on the side, if such concepts no longer exist in marriage. Tired of neglect, callousness of her husband, lack of support and help, a woman seeks in another man not sex or an orgasm, she needs to talk, cry, feel welcome, loved, beautiful, tender, such as she has not felt in the family .

At the same time, she runs the risk of truly getting closer and spiritually intermarrying with that second man, which can quite ruin a marriage, since she does not want to change something in it. Often at this stage, women either confess to infidelity or completely abandon their intimate life with their husband. To live immediately with two partners, as is often done by male adulterers, women generally cannot, with rare exceptions.

Women who change for a long time usually do it with the same partner., their change is not included in her plans; women usually do not “collect” victories on the love front.

Treason “on the occasion” (alcohol, corporate party, and so on) is very rare among women. Specialists in such spontaneous treason are usually men. And also, most women do not tend to change in order to meet sexual needs, which for some reason are not satisfied in marriage.

It is for such reasons, as well as under the influence of fear of losing their job, women change with their superiors and senior staff. Quite rarely, but there are married renegades who pursued purely mercantile goals - to get money for sex, expensive gifts.

Women are touchy, and men should not forget about it. Therefore, among the reasons for women's adultery, not the last place is given to betrayal out of a sense of revenge - in response to a spouse that happened earlier, to a strong offense, to the pain that he caused her.

Women can change from boredom. And it is true. If there is no room for a drop of romance in the family, and a woman has plenty of free time to analyze and sort out pleasant memories in her memory and heart, then one day there may be a need to feel them again, but with another man, because this is forever busy and long gone cold.

The main difference between women's treason and male is that it can be prevented. There are such borderline stages of relations in which a man can already notice the inner readiness of a girlfriend’s life to go "left", and here he can still make a difference if he is interested in this and loves his companion.

More than others, independent women who tend to earn more than their husbands and occupy a high position on the career ladder are prone to treason. Adulter is more likely if a woman has a higher level of education than a man, if there are no common interests and hobbies.

Women are more sensitive to the feelings of others, and therefore any unfaithful girl or married woman usually carefully conceals the fact of adultery, being afraid of being misunderstood and condemned by society. On the one hand, it is always more difficult to notice female treason than male, and on the other, it is easier because the woman’s behavior changes. The more serious relationships become out of wedlock, the more tangible it is in marriage.

Women who have something to hide become more anxious and alert. They no longer throw their mobile phone anywhere, hastily close the message window, if you approach them from the back at the time of correspondence with someone on the Internet. The phone is password protected.

A woman blooms, changes in appearance. A new hobby makes her be more attentive to her own appearance - she often happens at the hairdresser’s, she doesn’t leave the house without makeup, she always has well-groomed hands, a lot of new clothes have appeared, especially underwear and stockings.

With the advent of a new partner, a woman, as a rule, has many new girlfriends with whom “the husband is unfamiliar,” and whom she is not going to represent him. She doesn't take a husband to parties with them. They often stay overnight. The amount of sex in marriage is significantly reduced, and gradually this, infrequent comes to naught - women always have a lot of reasons for not having sex at the moment (headache, menstruation started, menstruation did not end, stomach ache, tired and Further).

As relations develop outside of marriage, a woman becomes less tolerant of her husband’s actions and judgments. She is irritated by his touches and jokes, his manner of eating pasta from a frying pan with his hands in the middle of the night in his underpants, the smell of his cologne. On the other hand, control is lost. If a woman used to call often and wondered where her husband would be when she arrived, now she is completely calm, even if he stays with friends or at work for a long time, does not stick, does not call and does not require explanations. It would seem that this is exactly what my husband wanted recently, but not everything is so simple. Now her silence and his removal begins to strain.

You can forgive everything, and female treason too.But forgiveness will require a certain degree of decisiveness, courage and adulthood from a man, the ability to cope with his offenses and a great desire to save his family. Moreover, it is necessary to forgive, whatever the decision. Even if the family cannot be saved any longer, it will be better for everyone if the cheater will know that she has been forgiven and released with the world, and it will be much easier and more comfortable for a man to live and build her life from the position of a person who has the desire to take revenge in his soul. .

Another question is whether to forgive. A man must answer it alone. Without seeking advice from relatives, friends. Only myself, because no one knows so well what exactly this woman means for him and his relationship with her. It only makes sense to ask this question after the first wave of indignation, resentment, bewilderment, and indignation has subsided. It will be better if the spouses live separately for this time. When it comes to the understanding that everything has already happened, that nothing has changed, it is then that acceptance will take place, and after that you should start a conversation with your wife about what will happen next.

This will not bring relief, but will only distance you from her, and her - from you. It is necessary to speak respectfully, not to become personal, not to blame and not blame. It is important to listen to her position, to understand why she acted exactly as she sees your further relationship.

If a woman repents sincerely and regrets, promises to never repeat such a thing again, if you want to keep the family together, it is quite possible to establish relationships, but this, naturally, will take time and mutual efforts. It is very important for a man to step over his own pride and understand that there is a share in the partner’s betrayal and his guilt, and then the couple will only have to understand what correction should be made to the relationship in order to rule out further misunderstanding.

It is important for a man to understand that with his forgiveness he does not oblige his wife to anything. She is not obliged to humiliate herself before him, to serve him for the rest of her life only because he generously forgave her, the wrong one. If the forgiveness is voiced, it means that never, under any circumstances, in any quarrel, a man has the right to remind of this case, to reproach or blame his wife, to blackmail her with this. For such families, alas, forecasts are unfavorable.

It may also happen that the woman herself does not want to continue the relationship. This is possible if she really fell in love and does not want to deceive anyone anymore. In this case, nothing can be done - by force, as they say, you will not be nice. It is important to preserve their human dignity, not to be derailed and not to blame her, but simply to discuss the details of the divorce with dignity, or leave them to her discretion.

Families who managed to restore the relationship after a serious test of female adultery, not so much, but they are. And if the partners do everything right, their relationship may become even better than they were before.

This question can rightly be considered the main one. As already mentioned, female treason can be prevented almost always, everything will depend on how much a man needs a relationship with this woman.

Ideal to start a relationship with an honest approach. - do not try to scribble your darling with gifts and pour with compliments at every step - time will pass, romance will diminish, and then the woman will feel deceived, misled. Be yourself.

The more alive the husband is interested in the problems, experiences and events of the spouse, the higher the degree of trust between them, the better the relationship. Remember that wives can go away only to what listens better, understands more, participates more often, advises, helps, and not at all to those who know more poses from the Kama Sutra.

Respect the woman and her personal space. Trust her. Do not try to control your wife. Even if you have a lot of work and you are very busy, take the time to just talk to her, be alone.

Marriage interests unite common interests and hobbies, joint hobbies and spent leisure time together.

If a man thinks about how to prevent adultery, if he already felt “disturbing” changes in his spouse, then it would be wrong to roll up scandals and watch her, restrict her movements and freedom of communication, meet her at work and read her messages in a mobile phone. It is much more correct to pull oneself in, not to offend a person without proof, but try to just change the relationship, starting to pay more attention to his wife.

If betrayal has bored you, the woman will be pleasantly surprised at the changes in you that she has been waiting for and will accept them with pleasure. If she already has her second life, the options may be different. It happens that at this stage, husbands manage to return loved ones and save the family.