Life after treason: how to behave and whether it is possible to save the relationship?

All spouses want absolute loyalty from their partner. Unfortunately, fleeting passion can end in betrayal. It is worthwhile to consider in more detail why betrayals occur, what their consequences are, how to find the strength to survive the situation, whether it is easy to regain the trust of a partner and continue building family relationships.

The essence of treason is the impossibility of the full realization of man in the family. The following factors most often contribute to adultery:

• physiology - exhausted hormones;
• the desire for diversity (a kind of experiment) - it is curious to learn how to have sex with another person;
• dissatisfaction with basic needs.

Care, attention, caress, tenderness in a relationship is necessary for two halves of a married couple. It is important for a person to feel that he is loved. Life and everyday life is so sucked that less warmth and attention goes to a loved one. Ardent and tender feelings gradually fade away. Often intimate life is reduced to a mechanical process. Romance and understanding disappears with time. Conflicts, quarrels, scandals at the slightest reason are pushing a person to search for a “soul mate” on the side. Not the last place is occupied by an evil silence, which gives the impression that the spouses hardly endure each other.

Crisis moments fall on 3, 7, 14, 21 years of living together. It is necessary to adequately overcome the stage of family formation, the birth of children, their maturation. The relationship of the spouses affects the syndrome of the empty nest: the children grew up and left their parental home. Parents suddenly discover that they were only children bound. There was nothing to talk about, interests diverged. Retirement causes the fear of aging. I want to prove to myself that you are not old yet. The search for adventure with a young person is not excluded.

Adultery occurs as an atomic bomb explosion. First, a bright and warm light bursts in with the flash, and then complete devastation occurs. Around there is a dead field, ashes. The heart and feelings of the one who changed his half are completely burned out. Often happen situational treason. Due to certain circumstances this happened once. Wrong spouse is interested in preserving the family, he has a feeling of guilt and incredible shame, so he is trying with all his might to hide treason.

But the partner found out about it. Marital infidelity is perceived as a betrayal of the secrets of their love. Jealousy, anger, resentment gnawing soulmate. Justify the meanness is impossible. Trust shattered. The very first desire that arises after the unpleasant news is to immediately break off the relationship. Suffer self-esteem partner, who frantically begins to look for the cause in itself. The old life will be no more. It is necessary to make a lot of effort so that the ridiculous mistake does not destroy the family. The couple must gain strength to go through the trials and reach a new level of relations.

After situational betrayals, family relationships can be preserved and necessary. It is most difficult to forgive and trust again the person who has betrayed you, who committed an act capable of destroying love, destroying family ties. You can forget, forgive, but live, as before will not work.In the relationship will not be the former ease. Family happiness in the house will return soon.

If you change, you should not engage in self-flagellation. No need to bring charges, claims partner. In a fit of anger, you can talk a lot of superfluous words, which subsequently adversely affect your relationship. Try to answer the question why betrayal happened. Despair, a bleeding wound in the heart, an experience, confusion drives a person into depression. You can cry, but quietly, without witnesses.

It is best to seek help from a family psychologist. It will help out of depression. It would be nice to choose the appropriate forum on the Internet and chat there incognito. The question will be resolved only by two: husband and wife. Third parties do not need to be involved in the situation. Not all friends can keep secrets and give good advice. It is necessary to make every effort in order not to embroil their children. Disorder in the family causes them severe trauma, which the child’s psyche is difficult to handle. Your personal problems should not touch them.

If the couple lived in a civil marriage, it is recommended to immediately legalize the relationship. If the marriage was not married, then be sure to go through the sacrament of the wedding. A person can not remain the same after the wedding. It is desirable for Orthodox people to visit the church on the day off with the whole family, to perform the Sacraments of Confession and Communion. Joint visits to the temple will help to survive the pain, to rally the family, to love each other more than before.

In the case of your infidelity wife behave after treason should be very patient. You need to be ready for a violent reaction partner. Allow a person to splash out his overflowing emotions. We'll have to gain a lot of patience to endure crying, reproaches, throwing things around, burning joint photographs. Much worse, if your half has closed in itself, does not want to talk to you and sort things out. This does not mean indifference to the situation. The partner hid his feelings and emotions deeply, and the heartache from this becomes even stronger.

Instantly reunion will not happen. No need to persistently impose a conversation on a partner. Not words, but actions will help in this situation. We'll have to resume the period of courtship, to show increased attention. But do not overwhelm the spouse with expensive gifts and flowers. In everything there should be a measure, otherwise you can achieve the opposite result. It is necessary to tune in to the fact that your life together will change dramatically. At first, your half will find it difficult to overpower yourself, to be kissed before you go to work, to give you a warm smile and, all the more, to have sex just like before. Cold relationships are provided for a while. Do not force events.

If you have changed, then in any case do not look for a sexual partner for revenge on your husband or wife. This will only worsen the already difficult situation. It is better to think about how not to allow insult to take root in the soul, set priorities correctly in order to understand what is more important at the moment: long-term love, common children, common plans, strong friendship or fleeting passion of a partner. It is necessary to listen to the native person, to understand what he needs, what is missing. We'll have to give all of ourselves completely to the family, a lot of work on relationships. Under no circumstances, you do not need to blame, but in the quarrel to recall the fact of betrayal. It is advisable to try to forever dismiss this unpleasant event.

It would be nice to go on vacation together, to hold a joint photo session. A visit to the gym, an affordable sport helps to strengthen your life together. Regular activities outside the apartment will help save the family. It should be a friendly visit parks, museums, theaters. It is necessary to involve children in the organization of family leisure. In the evening, it is desirable to gather with the whole family, to talk. Any joint work will unite the family.

Wisdom is required to restore shattered trusting relationships. It is not easy to learn to trust your loved one again. Any delay at work will be plagued by suspicion. We'll have to start a relationship from scratch - learning to love each other again. A person who loses confidence is like an offended child. Suspiciousness, vulnerability, capriciousness - the normal and natural state. Infidelity hurt partner pride. At one point, trust cannot be restored. Everything has its time. It is necessary to let a person understand that the old is in the past. Begins a new stage.

It is necessary to increase the importance of their halves. It is advisable to convince the wife that the opponent loses in all respects to her. A number of agreements should be adopted. It is better to avoid omissions and understatement. All suspicions should be immediately reported. The following conditions will help to restore confidence:

• maintaining a distance for some time;
• voluntary provision of passwords, accounts to one half;
• partial narrowing of the partner’s space: checking email, diary, telephone, social networks;
• removal of all suspicious contacts in the presence of the second half.

If adultery happened in the workplace, and the partner for the sake of preserving the family retired, then such an act will definitely cause the trust of his half. Time checks should be completed after the final forgiveness of the spouse. The return of personal space to the partner does not need to delay for a long time. After passing the test family relationships are restored and strengthened.

If you changed a spouse, you should not rush from one extreme to another. The first of them - to cope with the disaster is difficult, almost impossible, so you have to get a divorce. Or the second extreme - he will disappear without me, and I love him - let him go for a walk, it's okay, somehow survive. Do not make a quick decision. You need to wait for the stress to pass, and you will start thinking sensibly and rationally. You should not listen to those friends, girlfriends and relatives who are talking about the immediate expulsion of the wrong half.

Scandals will only worsen the situation. Quick forgiveness can lead your half to the thought that nothing terrible has happened, you can continue in the same vein. Do not try to fill the mountain with alcoholic beverages. Do not find out the details of an intimate relationship, otherwise facts may emerge, after which reconciliation will not take place. You should not seek a meeting with a person who turned out to be your rival or rival. It is below your dignity. Moreover, do not try to insult or humiliate a person. In the end, your partner for some reason chose him.

If a grumpy and dissatisfied wife meets a man in the evening from work, then he unwittingly begins to compare her with other women. True love in the family appears as a result of persistent daily work. The initial passion and love gradually fade away. They are gradually replaced by a deep feeling that helps fill the true love of the whole family space. When the family has love, peace and harmony in everything, betrayal is a priori impossible.

How to survive treason and save the family, see the next video.