What to do if you are offended?

Grievance is a natural reaction to aggressive and evil actions of others. In many cases, resentment helps to defend their interests and rights, giving impetus to retaliation. But what if, as it seems to you, they offend you too often? How to behave if your loved one is offended? The article will focus on how to respond to such unpleasant situations.

Our reaction to the actions of others is very individual. But agree, when you see an overly capricious and defiantly vulnerable person, you want to avoid close communication with him.

Surely everyone at least once met such people, meek and non-aggressive, but certainly offended literally the whole world. With them, really, often there are troubles, which they long and hard to experience. At work they are disliked, despite the merits. Even close people often hurt them.

The man himself meekly undergoes everything that happens, does not come into direct conflict with anyone. The role of the sufferer is firmly attached to him.

The fact is that all people are capable of experiencing anger, anxiety, aggression and other emotions. But strong feelings, having arisen in consciousness as a reaction to events and situations, require some kind of a way out. And here we are talking about the ability or inability to express and experience them.

Specialists character, which were described above, experts call masochistic. In this case we are not talking about sexual preferences. This refers to the unconscious revenge itself, due to the fact that a person does not own the techniques of an adequate surge of emotions.

Most often, those are those whose parents have strictly suppressed any manifestations of the feelings of their child. They could blame him or scold him for crying, for loud laughter or inappropriate, in the opinion of the parent, a shout, but simply a phrase. As a result, a person gets used to hiding absolutely all emotions in himself. Including fair aggression.

The bottom line is that in adulthood such a person actually forbids himself to experience strong emotions, live them and give them an adequate solution. He is humbly restrained even in the most egregious situations, which often causes irritation to others and a desire to still provoke him to take any action.

A very accurate fairy-tale prototype of a person with masochistic character traits is Cinderella. Meek, kind, unrequited to the evil and rudeness of the girl. She causes contempt and strong hatred among sisters and stepmother. Without giving them absolutely no, even verbal, repulse, he moves them to invent all new and more sophisticated mockery.

Of course, a couple of questions arise here. If a person, in fact, unconsciously suppresses anger in himself, is it not good? Is not he happy, forbidding yourself to have negative feelings towards others? The answer to both of these questions: alas, no.

Suppressed emotions caused by unpleasant situations go nowhere. But since a person does not experience them and does not express his offenders, hard experiences are turning against him.

Grievance develops into autoagression. Therefore, in difficult situations, when such a person undergoes insults, mockery or oppression, it is much easier for him to remain a humble sheep. Then someone else will be bad and guilty. Being unresponsive, people with such a peculiarity of character retain in their minds their own blackened image, which is very important for them.

You may have learned in the described character traits of someone from your loved ones or yourself. Next, let's talk about how to behave when offended.

Psychology gives many recommendations on how to adequately lead oneself in the event of insult, rudeness, and other unpleasant actions by others. However, absolutely no universal instructions for all occasions, of course. In each specific situation, only you yourself can assess its severity and severity, and then decide how to respond to it.

• Trouble is better to skip past yourself than to dwell on them. Appreciate your calm and take care of your nerves. Weigh before all that happened. Understand the reasons for the behavior of the one who offended you. Perhaps the situation happened by chance, and you really did not want to cause evil. If the abuser sincerely apologized, then it is best to forgive him and thereby provide a service to himself by letting go of his negative.
• Before deciding to respond, think about how it will look from the outside. Say, a colleague threw you a bad joke, and you broke out in response to curses. Doesn't that ruin your image? People are drawn to those who are calm and adequate, able to treat mistakes with understanding, not to be scattered over trifles. Going down to the level of the offender or even trying to overtake him is ugly and unworthy.

• If any illegal actions were committed against you, you have the full right to contact the police. Weaning or damage of things and property, obscene threats and insults, the use of even mild violence is a violation of the law. The application to the relevant authorities will rein in the bully and give the insolent a good lesson.
• Perhaps you are just too prone to touchiness. You are hurt very much by any jokes addressed to you, it seems that all people constantly harass you, and the beloved man does everything to spite you. In this case, it is necessary to work with it. Try not to flash immediately, but objectively scroll and assess the situation. Make a claim calmly. It may well be that the offender himself was ready to apologize, but you scared him away with your anger.
• It hurts when a loved one offends. If we are still ready to give up on people who are indifferent to us, then in the case of a misbehavior of a boyfriend, husband or wife, negative feelings and resentment are multiplied at times. With a loved one it is worth being especially careful in expressing emotions. Do you need a "war" in a relationship?

• There are people who are rude, rude and hurt intentionally. It is better not to honor them with your attention and, if possible, to minimize or stop communicating with them.
• Talking with a person you trust often helps with emotions. Tell him about your grievance, express all your feelings about this. By letting go of your feelings in this way, you are more likely to cool down and react more easily to the trouble that has occurred.

What to do if you are constantly offended, see the next video.