How to start a new relationship after breaking up?

After a divorce from a beloved man or woman, you still need to live on. Do not put on a cross, disappointed in one partner. After the emotions and resentment subsided, the tears no longer come to their eyes, you can think about how to arrange a personal life. Finding new true love is quite possible. How to start a new relationship after breaking up will be discussed in this article.

Such a serious and sad event, as the dissolution of marriage and separation, does not pass for anyone without a trace. This is a time of frustration, resentment, uncertainty, fear for the future. Men and women who survived a divorce do not always cope with this quickly.

Psychology identifies the main problems that people face after a break up.

• For many, after parting with a partner, self-esteem significantly decreases. Often similar effects are observed in those who have been changed. Due to a decrease in self-confidence, incorrect models of perception of oneself begin to form: for example, a person thinks that he is not worthy of being loved. Such installations firmly settle in the mind, not allowing to move on.
• If the previous relationship lasted a long time, the person simply forgets how to behave when meeting and building new contacts. In other words, a woman or a man completely unlearns how to flirt, show signs of attention and care.

However, some women flirt, as they say, in the blood. But shy young ladies, who didn’t allow themselves much in this regard before the first marriage, after a failure with a man, they can shut down and become even more confused.

Many husbands cease to pay attention to spouses. It seems that joint life and well-established attitudes to this do not push - after all, no one’s heart needs to be conquered. Starting the courtship of the new passion, they are not sufficiently attentive, which often repels girls and women.

• Some in spite of the previous partner want to start meeting with someone as soon as possible. To do this, they actively meet, send out questionnaires to sites, flirt online and in the company of friends. Often such an onslaught only scares. Moreover, a hastily created relationship or marriage can again lead to frustration and even more pain.

• Sometimes those who have been married cannot get rid of the role of a wife or husband. Starting to meet, they immediately show possessive ambitions, unnecessarily take care of the new partner, trying to control it. The romantic period of the couple in this case is completely spoiled. A new sweetheart or lover begins to feel as though you have been married for many years, although this is not so.
• Excessive idealization of a new partner is a serious psychological problem. Women who have decided to remarry, paint in their heads literally the image of a prince. They don’t want to be wrong in choosing again that they repel potential candidates time and time again.

The same goes for men. Wanting a perfect relationship with a new wife, they begin to make sometimes difficult demands. Trying to find a dream girl, such a man misses real opportunities. Naturally, the barely established relationship is not obtained because of the unwillingness and inability to accept the new love for what it is.

• It is sometimes difficult for a woman with a child to find a new husband. Mommies often have a feeling of guilt in front of their children.Many women are afraid to bring a new man to the house of the children because he may be worse than his father and cause them inconvenience.
• For those who have been abandoned by their second half, the “sufferer’s” complex is often formed. Such people almost consciously force themselves to experience the gap again and again, not allowing the pain to come to naught.

For men and women who survived a divorce, experts give some useful tips.

• Do not withdraw into yourself, do not stop communicating with friends and family. If it's hard for you, let them help you. The sooner you cope with negative emotions and depression, the sooner you can begin to take the first steps towards your future. Express the feelings and anxieties that torment you to someone you trust. This will help alleviate the depression.
• Do not run yourself, watch the appearance. Do not make a sentence to yourself, thinking that you no longer look good for anyone. This is not true! You still have your children, relatives, friends and colleagues. A new love can come at any time. And so that she finds you, help her by remaining a beautiful and decent-looking person.
• Lovers always present a romantic period. Therefore, women should remember about easy flirtation and coquetry. And men restore courtship skills.
• Don't pounce on new love. Attempts to “ring” as soon as possible can frighten off anyone. In addition, it is simply unpleasant when a person in a relationship immediately exhibits a proprietary attitude and unhealthy obsession. Do not forget about respect, patience, do not rush things.
• Expand your circle of acquaintances. For this, you can, for example, enroll in a gym or a creative studio.

• Work on your confidence. Low self-esteem impresses itself in any communication. Such a person often inspires pity and is perceived as helpless. Self-confident man will certainly attract a woman. And a girl who knows her worth, will always be attractive to guys.
• Do not try to find or cultivate the qualities of your former spouse in a new partner. These are different people, and you will never find absolute similarity. Look at your new love with a realistic look, without excessive demands. If you just can not accept the new partner for what it is, it is worth considering whether you made a wrong choice.
• Try to objectively evaluate your behavior in a previous marriage. Find your mistakes, try to work them out. It is very foolish to repeat them again, putting your new relationship at risk. If you are hot-tempered, try to soften your behavior, learn to work with emotions. Excessive jealousy also brings tension to the relationship. Analyze your habits and adjust yourself so that your partner is comfortable and calm with you.
• Women with children should not put a cross on themselves and forever stop only on the role of mother. You also have the right to love and a full life. Talk to the children and explain the situation to them so that they understand it because of their age. Most importantly, pay attention to how your favorite child treats you, how they get along. Help them build communication. Tell your new man what your children love, what their hobbies are, more often organize a joint rest.
• While building a new relationship, try, nevertheless, not to distance yourself from the children. Feeling neglected, the child can begin to be jealous and deliberately spoil the relationship with a potential stepfather or stepmother.