Should I return my husband after separation and how to do it?

Often divorce gives impetus to start a new life. But not always the decision to break the union is mutual for the spouses. It happens that the husband becomes the initiator of the separation, and the wife still has feelings for her man. In this situation, a woman, of course, wants to return the former spouse as soon as possible. The article will discuss how to get back together with a man after breaking up.

Divorce brings not joyful emotions. Often women fall into depression and for a long time can not pull themselves together. It is especially difficult to experience a divorce in the event that feelings remain for the husband. The woman desperately wants to re-establish the relationship. Sometimes it seems to her that she is ready for almost everything, just to make her husband return to the family.

In such a situation it is important to give yourself a little cool. Impulsive impulses sometimes lead to consequences that must be regretted. Give your emotions a little to subside, to think about the whole situation as much as possible soberly and rationally.

So, you broke up with a man and now really want him to return to you. Such a desire is quite logical but it is worth checking, for your own good, how sincere it is. Perhaps you are guided mainly by insult and restrained pride.

Often women are ashamed of not being able to keep a spouse. In such situations, they seek to bring everything back to normal only in order to prove its worth to others. However, with the return of the man with this approach will return the old problems.

When the husband goes to another woman, the abandoned wife can set himself the goal of breaking the pair by any means possible. Including actively trying to lure the former spouse back. Of course, this adventure is not likely to lead to anything good.

Agree, absolutely on an empty place couples do not break up. So you still had some problems. Whether they consisted of a husband or you was not particularly important. The key to this situation is whether you both have the desire and willingness to work on flaws and errors. Without such work, your reunion may be useless and unpromising.

Another important point in the decision to restore the family is that the person changes over time. You can expect your husband to be the same as you knew him in marriage. However, various events and a separate life from you could have left a serious imprint on his personal qualities. Your man may change some of his views, become more emotional, or, on the contrary, how to withdraw into himself. The feelings that he once felt to you may well change.

So: before moving on, let's summarize all of the above. Think about your desire to restore relationships with your ex-husband. Check your feelings for sincerity. Try to honestly figure out what are the motives behind your desire to return the spouse to the family. If this is nevertheless an infringement of pride or revenge on his new passion, then most likely your restored union will still not stand the test of time.For the full recovery of the pair, it is important that each partner has a mutual sincere desire.

The union, which collapsed, but was reestablished after some time, has certain advantages:

• partners already have experience of living together and living;
• it is possible to take into account past mistakes in relationships and work them out;
• the spouses who have come together after parting are well aware of the characters and personality traits of each other, thereby eliminating the “lapping” stage.

If all of you weighed and firmly decided to converge with your ex-husband, you have a lot of work to do. Its duration and success depends on the specific situation: on the circumstances and causes of the gap, on your relationship after the divorce, on having common children and a new passion for your spouse.

To begin with, develop the tactics most suitable for you, taking into account the peculiarities of the personality and character of your husband. If after a break you have remained in good relations and maintain communication, this will be a big plus. If you quarreled like a cat with a dog, and even the husband has a woman, this, alas, is a more difficult task. But rest assured, hope and chances of reunion after breaking up are in any case.

In your behavior, follow the following tactics and general rules.

• Immediately after the break, you should not impose a reunion. It is permissible only to make it clear that you do not drive a husband. Do not interrupt contacts with him on your own initiative. However, if the man himself for some time does not want to communicate with you, do not insist and do not push him. Hack for a period and follow the development of the situation.
• Do not try to entice your ex spouse with sex handouts. The intimacy brought to him on a saucer can create the opposite effect. A man may interpret this as an opportunity to get sex from you without any obligations, while being free.
• Men can help to bring love to common children. Organize joint rest and walks with dad. During such events, you can chat or a couple of times to recall the fun and pleasant moments of your life together.
• When meeting with your former spouse, try to correct your behavior in those moments that annoyed him or were unpleasant to him. For example, the husband didn’t like your excessive talkativeness, then overcome yourself and learn to listen with interest. Maybe you cared little about his affairs and problems. Then show him that you care about his progress at work. But here it is important not to replay. Counterfeit participation, contrived questions will give out your pretense.
• Become newer and more interesting in the eyes of your husband. Take some kind of hobby or creativity. This can be a good topic of conversation. Perhaps the husband will also be interested in your new occupation. And even if not, you can still expect that some changes in your life will attract his attention.
• After a divorce that has already happened, leave in the past a showdown, reproaches and complaints. If they are so often present in your marriage, their repetition will only postpone the former spouse. After all, he will understand that nothing has changed and that the same life awaits him, from which he has just been able to escape.

At a certain stage of rapprochement, it becomes necessary to inform a man about your desire to restore relationships. Naturally, it’s best to do it not by telephone or SMS, but in person, looking into the eyes. This will emphasize the sincerity and seriousness of your intentions.

With such a conversation in no hurry. It definitely should not be carried out immediately after the rupture. Wait until the passions subside, and you will be sure that you have prepared a certain ground for reunification.

Naturally, such a conversation is always held in private, without other people nearby. It is also important to remember that in this situation, you are not acting as a humble petitioner at all.You only inform the former that you are ready and willing to restore the family.

During the conversation, do not throw reproaches and comments to the ex-husband. State your vision of the situation and ways to solve the problems that led to the gap. Apologize for your mistakes. Do not force the husband to ask for forgiveness, in this case it will be formal and insincere. A person is able to apologize and start working on himself only realizing his own shortcomings and accepting the fact of their existence.

You may receive a negative response. Let's say right away, this is not a reason for despair and is not the end at all. In any case, now your spouse knows that you have the intention to restore the relationship. And this is a big plus. After all, if he himself suddenly experiences such a desire, he will no longer be afraid and postpone his decision to return to you.

This pattern of behavior and actions may work if the gap occurred about a year ago or more. During this time, the man manages to taste aspects of life outside of marriage and disaccustom to his former wife. That is, several months after the divorce, husbands often perceive their former wives almost as much as other women.

During this period, you can re-appear in his life and try to fall in love with the former again. Of course, in this situation your image is very important. In the course also have to put flirting and easy flirting. In general, everything is like at the very beginning of a relationship with a new partner. Let a man again seeking you, surrounded by romance and signs of attention. Wait a little and with physical intimacy so that he does not have the impression that you are still ready for any concessions for him.

Not always the ex-husband can while away the separation alone. Often, a divorced man quickly finds his passion and because of this does not want to return to the family.

Undoubtedly, this situation is more complicated. First, sort out whether their relationship really developed after your separation. If a man already had a connection with another woman during marriage, then this ground was prepared. Perhaps his decision to leave you was balanced and not at all spontaneous.

The second option is to start a relationship in spite of an ex-wife. There is more likelihood that they will not be durable and successful.

In any case, you need to be patient. During meetings and communication, try to look in the eyes of the former as profitable and interesting as possible. It is very possible, comparing your marriage and your new relationship, he will be inclined to the choice of the usual life and environment. New passion is also not perfect. There is a chance that she will make more than one mistake and thus soon put out the fire of her cavalier's feelings.

Do not give up and do not despair. Life is a very unpredictable thing. If you have precisely set a goal, go forward to it boldly and firmly. The only condition in this situation, perhaps, is the weighing of their decisions and the exclusion of perfidious and impulsive actions. Also a bad helper for you will be your complete inaction.

Do not run yourself, stay beautiful, successful and interesting. Yes, divorce is a very difficult event, but not fatal.Give yourself some time to mourn, cry and recover, but do not delay this period. Watch your figure, create a new style for yourself, go in for sports. In the end, from any situation you need to be able to allocate for yourself positive impulses and new opportunities.

Do not quarrel with friends and relatives of your husband, as well as with your mutual friends. Otherwise, it will create an opinion about you as a brawler. In addition, these people are not to blame for your personal problems and quarrels. Continuing to communicate with relatives of your ex, you will increase your chances of reuniting with him.

A big mistake is getting children into your situation. Do not manipulate them, do not set them against the father and do not forbid them to communicate. It is better, on the contrary, to take part in their meetings and come up with an interesting joint rest.

“Spraying the mud” of your spouse will not decorate you in his eyes either. Your intimate affairs, weaknesses, weaknesses and punctures should in any case remain between you. If you had the idea to discuss the dirty details or complain about the former to someone, ask yourself just one question: “How would I feel if my husband had done something like that?”

Apathy, inaction and withdrawal do not budge the situation. Depression is not uncommon companion of painful partings, but it must be dealt with. If you are very hard and you can not cope with the depressed state, consult a psychologist or psychotherapist. This is a perfectly normal practice that will help you get out of a difficult situation and move on.

In the case when the former has another woman, do not meddle with them in a relationship. Do not call and do not threaten the new chosen one, do not make scandals. This is your husband's choice, so if you influence someone, then only him. Excessive greed and self-interest in financial matters, extortion of money from the former spouse will also significantly worsen the opinion of you.

Realizing your mistakes, do not leave them without elaboration. A man is unlikely to want to return "to the same river." And if your marriage was for him something like a cell with an uncomfortable situation, without changes and working on yourself, it is most likely that you will not be able to return your husband.

Surely during the time of living together you could already realize your shortcomings and weaknesses of character. It's time to try to correct them. Good help in this can provide a specialist psychologist.

On whether to return to a former relationship, see the video below.