How to maintain a good relationship after a divorce?

Divorce inevitably brings changes to life. After him, much in the usual way will have to be changed, and one cannot escape this. Often women are wondering whether to continue to communicate and try to build friendships with a man after breaking up. And if so, how to build communication, no longer being a husband and wife? How to maintain a good relationship with your ex-spouse after a divorce, and will be discussed in this article.

After the emotions have subsided, bitterness and resentment have ceased to torment, many broken couples establish friendly communication. This is absolutely normal, because these people have known each other for a long time. To remain fierce enemies until the end of days is in any case not the best and most favorable scenario. It is much better to have a reliable loved one who is able to support and help. But not always those who once was a husband and wife manage to remain friends. For a start, it is advisable to carefully weigh the arguments in favor of establishing friendship.

Let us consider why it is worth keeping friendship after the break.

• You had a close relationship of trust, you know a lot about each other. Even outside marriage, under such conditions, further support and mutual assistance is possible.
• Children will not be torn between warring dad and mom. For them, you will forever remain the parents with whom they want to spend time. You will save the possibility of joint relaxation without a heated emotional environment.
• It makes no sense to spoil a good relationship with her husband's parents and friends. Having broken off all contacts with him, you will lose friendship with his relatives.
• Friendly communication between former spouses sometimes leads to the fact that marriage can be restored.

However, there are negative aspects of close communication after separation.

• A person can change significantly, especially if after a break a long period has passed. Those qualities to which you are accustomed, may no longer manifest.
• When heavy breaks communicate with a former partner can cause great pain. In this case, it is worth waiting for a certain time. Or completely abandon attempts to restore relationships.

The success of building a friendship after a divorce depends on many factors:

• reciprocity of this desire;
• causes of rupture;
• relationship to the situation of relatives and friends;
• the presence of children and their perception of parental divorce;
• state of affairs in the personal life of each of the former spouses.

Psychologists have several recommendations for girls and women, which will help, if not to improve relations, then at least not to perceive the situation "in hostility." Let us dwell on them in more detail.

• Communicating after a break is often not so easy. Consider the feelings of your ex-husband. If he is not ready to remain friends, do not press on him and do not impose contacts with you. Perhaps, it will be possible to restore the relationship after a certain time.
• It is not necessary to build a new relationship demonstratively and in spite of the spouse with whom he broke up.
• Try not to shift your emotions and resentment to children. Do not turn them against your father, do not limit their communication with him. On the contrary, do everything so that their relationship does not deteriorate and is not interrupted.
• During meetings and chat try to keep a low profile. Leave insults and reproaches in the past. Now you communicate in a new quality for yourself - as good friends.

• Mutual respect will help maintain a good relationship after a break. Take a new situation, a new way of life of the former husband.
• Get rid of the desire to control the man who parted.
• Try to not communicate immediately after the divorce. This can lead to undesirable disorders. Try to see in a circle of friends for any third-party, not related to your past relationships, occasions.
• Sometimes men go to the tricks and try to establish friendly relations with the ex-wife in order to try to restore the marriage. If you see clear signs of such intentions, but you are not ready to renew the union yourself, do not give the man false hopes. Discuss your decision with him and put an end to this.

• Take care of yourself, do not run your appearance. Divorce is a difficult period, but this is not the end of life. Stay confident woman.
• Do not try with the help of children, friends or mutual friends to scout the details of the personal life of the former man. Everything that he considers necessary, he will tell during meetings and conversations. He now has the right to personal secrets.
• If you managed to build a friendship after a divorce, do not go deep into the memories. Communicate on current topics, share something new and interesting that is happening to you at the moment.
• Sometimes the spouse is ready to continue to communicate, but it is difficult for him to hear about changes in your personal life. In this situation, you should not hurt him, deliberately talking about the relationship with another man.

There are cases when, after a divorce, the former spouses converge again. Often this was facilitated by friendly relations and trusting communication during the break. But many women may doubt whether to return to a man.

Build a union after this is not always easy, even if the former spouses have a mutual desire. There are certain signs that a man wants you back. We analyze them below.

• He is too actively interested in your life, insistently asks your friends or yourself. A person who no longer plans to link his life with a woman is not very interested in the details of her pastime, the presence of new relationships or career ups.
• The man is trying to see you as often as possible. Often these are clearly contrived and insignificant pretexts.
• You have noticed that his appearance has become much more well-groomed, he comes to meetings in an atypical way for him. Often, men in such situations become much tidier than during cohabitation.
• There were signs of courtship: small gifts, compliments.

If a man really has feelings for you, he is able to wait and give you time for a balanced decision, which you will not have to regret. Here are some tips to help you make the right decision.

• Do not rush to move again. Extend the romantic period and check your feelings.
• Discuss your relationship to each other, share experiences and feelings that you are experiencing at the moment.
• It is not necessary to keep silent mutual claims, because your gap did not just happen. Only such a conversation should be conducted calmly, constructively, without emotions, insults and reproaches. Comments should be reasonable and reasoned.
• Prepare the children to live together again. Answer their questions in such a way that they can understand because of their age.

• Make sure your intentions are reciprocated. Do not force yourself against your will and desire.
• Try to make a decision by yourself. Often parents, relatives or friends try to intervene.But from an external position they may not always have objective information, and even more so they cannot experience your personal feelings and experiences.
• Try to analyze your mistakes in marriage, work on yourself, listen to the claims of your ex-husband. The second chance is not always given, and it is foolish to lose it because of its stubbornness and pride.
• Tune in to a positive outcome. Patience and mutual support will help you to get closer again and to establish a life together.