The most common causes of divorce

In the modern world, views on marriage have become freer. The concluded union can be terminated by agreement of the parties or on the initiative of one of the spouses. In some cases, a similar outcome gives rise to a new, happier life. Sometimes a break brings pain and deep depression. What are the reasons pushing people who have entered into a marriage, divorce?

A very difficult test for the newly formed pair is the first 3 years of marriage. It is especially hard to get used to sharing life with those who have not had the opportunity to live together during the period of premarital relations. Statistical studies have shown that in the first years of family life, about 40% of couples diverge.

More often, the decision to divorce is made by a young couple. People under 30 have not yet fully formed goals, there is a tendency to impulsiveness. Couples may decide to start a family, and then to divorce in a fairly short time, succumbing to emotions.

However, those who entered into a marriage after 30 years are not always able to keep it. At this age, people are often divorced due to the fact that it is more difficult for them to enter into new social roles and accept the individuality of the person with whom life is now shared. Being formed by a mature person, it is not always possible to change his negative aspects of character, habits that can annoy a partner.

As for our country, the main causes of divorce, according to research, at the moment are unprepared for living together, alcoholism, adultery.

• Social immaturity, incompatibility of character, excessively early marriage. In short, unpreparedness for family life. This is the reason for more than 40% of marriage breakdowns in Russia. This problem is expressed in untidy life, mutual insults, humiliation, conflicts. All this in a fairly short time leads the partners to the decision to break up relations.
• A very serious problem is the alcoholism or other dependence of one of the spouses. Suffering from alcoholism causes great pain to their loved ones. Often the behavior of such a person is inadequate and aggressive. If a person does not find the strength to cope with this, life with him becomes almost unbearable.
• In third place among the reasons for divorce is cheating one of the spouses.

The main reason leading to the disintegration of the couple is the divergence of characters and interests. Especially often this problem is formed in fast marriages. Not having known each other well, but succumbing to feelings and impressions, the partners hurried to the registry office. And having begun a joint life, inevitably began to be disappointed in each other.

Very different attitudes, moral values ​​and beliefs seriously alienate people from each other. The lack of common interests makes it impossible to enjoy joint leisure time or it is held separately: the wife is in the theater, the husband is at football. Either one of the spouses constantly sacrifices his wishes and inclinations.

Differences of character lead to serious disagreements in everyday issues. And the most frequent reasons for family quarrels and scandals are connected with the maintenance of common life and the economy.Also, discordant life positions will inevitably confront spouses with their heads in the matter of raising children.

Marriage can break up due to the fact that the partners are very different in age. With a significant difference in years and experience, hoping for mutual understanding and the presence of common interests in a couple is almost impossible. A younger partner is still full of energy and wants an interesting, rich life. A man aged tends to peace and constancy of life.

On the path of marriage can stand career husband or wife. This reason for divorce is very common in Europe and the United States. In our country, working conditions are such that a woman often lacks personal time. In such circumstances, talking about the responsible and serious upbringing of the child is not necessary. Therefore, at the risk of losing a good position, a woman often hesitates in order to give a spouse of children, which, in turn, can significantly cool the feelings and push the man to break.

The reluctance of the child by one of the spouses can be identified in a separate reason. This may not be related to a career or financial position. Often, young men are not in a hurry to have children, as they see it as a burden for the family.

Men often react painfully to the appearance of a child. Especially if the baby was not planned. Many husbands are completely unprepared for the role of the father. Or they are annoyed by the fact that the children over-spin the spouse’s attention to themselves. A sufficiently large number of families disintegrate with the advent of the first child.

To divorce a couple can push financial problems. In this regard, the situation may have several options.

• The husband does not earn enough and the family has a precarious financial situation. In this case, the wife can not find a decent job or is on maternity leave.
• The spouse has a large income, and the wife does not work at all, but takes a lot of money for his personal expenses. Such a situation may in time bother the breadwinner of the family. There will be a desire to reset the parasite from his allowance.
• Wife earns much more than her husband. Although in modern society, the primacy of men is no longer so necessary, but many of the representatives of the sex strongly adhere to old views. Considering that the family should be provided by its head, some men cannot reconcile with the financial success of the wife. This infringes upon their pride and vanity.
• The husband does not work at all and the wife has the family. Sometimes a man can’t find a job he likes; he often quits. Alcoholism or health problems can also make the quest for decent work very problematic. A woman in such a situation is forced to rely only on herself. Wife-nurses often decide to divorce and support only children.

• The inability to confidentially speak with a spouse, the accumulation of negative emotions. It happens that a wife and her husband have been accumulating in themselves unspoken claims and offenses for many years. But this does not guarantee "peace and quiet" in the relationship. The accumulation of negative leads to outbursts of rage and breakdowns over trifles. Then the husband, dissatisfied with a completely different one, will yell at his wife badly because of some trifle such as an under-salted soup or a badly folded shirt. At the same time he will throw out all his indignation, applying insults and swearing.
• The same goes for women. Sometimes the spouse can not understand why the wife is wound up and finds fault with trifles. And in fact, in the family there is no trust and normal communication. Claims are silenced and accumulated in the form of nervous tension and mutual irritation. Thus, quarrels and scandals happen more often. Such an atmosphere in the family eventually pushes the spouses to the decision to divorce.
• Shortcomings, lies and mutual distrust of spouses - this is a very good reason to end the relationship.Sooner or later, any deception is revealed, causing pain to the one who was deceived. In an atmosphere of mutual distrust is very difficult to live. The wife has to constantly wonder whether the husband really stayed at work or went to his parents. The husband also begins to check the spouse for all sorts of reasons.

• Psychological oppression, moral pressure, a clear desire to dominate the partner in everything. Most often, men are prone to this. Some husbands consider it normal to be rude with a wife, to say hurtful words to her for any reason. The feeling of possessiveness pushes the spouse to restrict the freedom of his companion. Often, even contacts with old friends can be forbidden to the wife. In this case, married life becomes like a real cell. A modern woman is likely to be able to find the strength to flee from her.
• In the relationship of the spouses may intervene parents of some of them. It so happens that Mom and Dad initially disapprove of the choice of their child. To prove their case and instruct “on the right path”, parents set up their child against their chosen one or their chosen one.

• If violence is practiced in the family, such a union cannot be called happy. The behavior of the aggressor is very difficult to change by persuasion and requests. Often, people prone to temper and physical aggression, and not quite control themselves. Only specialists will be able to help in this case, and even then, provided that the person himself is aware of his problem and voluntarily wants to work with it.
• Treason for many is unforgivable wrongdoing. Most can not accept the fact that the partner did this. If betrayal is repeated many times, then it is definitely not worth considering it an accident or a passing error. Sometimes the spouse or spouse seek revenge on the second half by repaying the same. It only aggravates the situation and most often inevitably leads to divorce.
• Problems in the sexual life of a couple seriously affect the relationship. Many people, alas, are not ready to adequately and openly talk with a partner about intimate life. Therefore, this area of ​​relations with spouses often comes to naught and they even sleep in different beds. If sex does occur, it does not bring satisfaction.

• Couples who have been together for many years often have a period of cooling towards each other. It is also connected with the fact that for a long time life was too well established and life together became a routine. Constancy is not bad, but the sheer monotony of life, observed day after day, is very bad for the general emotional state. Feeling that life is not filled with anything interesting, people often have a completely natural desire to change it. But if the one with whom this life is connected does not support him in this, nothing remains but to look for changes beyond the existing family.
• Cramped housing conditions can significantly aggravate the situation in the family. Sometimes more than one generation is forced to live in a small living space (for example, spouses, their children and elderly parents). In such circumstances, it is difficult to establish a normal life. The constant presence of a large number of people, even close ones, is also very oppressive. Everyone has moments when they want to be alone with himself, this is a natural psychological discharge.It is especially difficult in such conditions for those who are prone to introversion.

It is worth saying that a divorce is not always a scandal, pain and rupture of any relationship with an ex-husband or wife. There are situations when spouses make decisions mutually and even remain friends. For couples and for common children, this is undoubtedly the best option. However, in most cases, the initiator of the gap is one of the spouses. And then the whole process is painfully complicated, especially for the one who is left.

In addition, each person reacts to the dissolution of his marriage very individually. Someone quickly cope with pain and resentment, begins to live fully and starts a new relationship. Someone, on the contrary, falls into a deep and prolonged depression. This condition is accompanied by nervous exhaustion, stress, often a man or a woman in such a situation turns to alcohol, thereby ruining his health.

When a divorce is very important to think about its consequences for children. Leaving the family of a mother or father for them is not an easy test. Do not think that because of their age, they will understand and feel little. Sometimes children get serious psychological trauma in such situations. It is very important that your relationship after the break is minimally reflected on them. Discuss with your spouse or spouse how you present it to children. Try to explain what is happening, given their age.

Depending on the specific situation, a divorce can be both a blessing and a harm. A mutually agreed, balanced decision on divorce is often beneficial. For former spouses, this is a chance to start a new life, to find a more suitable partner.

In any case, in a situation where living together is clearly not happy, and attempts to establish it have failed, divorce is indeed the only way out. It makes no sense to force yourself to cohabit until the end of days with someone you do not love, who offends, hurts, or constantly changes. This applies to both men and women.

The other side of the divorce is related to the impulsivity of one of the spouses. Yielding to the impulse and emotions, he or she announces his decision. In this case, the second partner literally collapses life. He needs to quickly rebuild the plans and dreams associated with the second half, to accept what will not be as before. For many, it is very difficult.

Although divorce is a difficult period, it is not the end of all life. One of the wisdom says: "When one door closes in front of you, another door immediately opens wide somewhere." After divorce, try not to get stuck in the past, but to rebuild your life, find new activities.

If you yourself were the initiator of the divorce, and your partner takes it hard, do not reproach yourself. You have the right to control your life. If this decision was weighed and you are confident in it, no one should hold you back.

Whatever the reasons for the gap, the basis of any of them is lack of understanding, inability to communicate and accept each other, lack of moral assistance and tolerance. These qualities are important in any area of ​​life, and just needed in marriage.