Many women suspect their husband of infidelity and live in constant scandals and hassle. To make family life better, you need to familiarize yourself with how to stop being jealous of your husband and normalize your internal balance.
What can cause jealousy?
Jealousy is a destructive feeling that every person encountered. It can occur to different people. Children are jealous of their parents, employees can be jealous of their boss, this phenomenon also occurs in the company of friends. Often there is a situation where wives are jealous of their husbands.
It is necessary to understand what can cause jealousy. From the point of view of psychology, this is due to several reasons.
- Fear of losing a loved one. Fear that someone can take away the moments when people are together. A person is afraid of losing his comfort zone, an interesting pastime and other exciting things. Fear is a basic feeling that is powerful. It is difficult to compare with calm.
- Jealousy is associated with envy. It is caused by dissatisfaction with those who won the attention of her husband. Rich imagination begins to paint a portrait of an ideal opponent, which is much younger, more beautiful and smarter. If there are complexes, they will “finish off” from the inside. Such a duet is the worst.
- Jealousy is considered to be a “sideline” of idealizing relationships Many people believe that there is a “love to the grave” and that even a small flirt should be executed. Such stereotypes are wrong. In life there can be many moments of different nature, so all the idealization will be repeatedly tested for strength.
- Low self-esteem. Past offenses, almost healed wounds will constantly remind of themselves. They will say that you are allegedly unattractive, you are not distinguished by your mind and have not achieved anything in life. Even if this situation is incorrect, the complexes will always be nearby. They are distinguished by vitality and illogicality.
- Jealousy is often associated with sad experiences. At occurrence of familiar signs of treachery, defensive reaction enters the matter.
- Jealousy is an insult. Feeling can be associated with deception, a fracture of the personal scenario of life, rejection.
- The instinct of the owner. There is no need to talk about feelings, as they are not there or they are in no way connected with such jealousy. A person begins to get annoyed by the fact that someone is encroaching on his personal thing.
- Tribute to the public. The entourage repeatedly tells stories about how spouses abandon ideal wives. Such cases are often found in films. Based on this, there is a feeling of anger.
Jealousy is considered a pleasure. It gives the excitement of an aggressive nature, as it is an energetic surge of emotions.
While experiencing it, a person already unconsciously wants to receive such sensations in order to experience the sharpness of pleasure.
Who is jealous of her husband?
There is an opinion that a jealous wife does not even need a reason, she is jealous of everyone, and not only of a real mistress (if there is one). However, there are several main reasons.
- To the past. Refusal to understand his life that existed before. Constant analysis of the actions of men in the present and his past.
- To fellow girls and a friend. This is the most common option.The environment of women annoying and angry. There are thoughts that everyone is flirting with her husband, and not talking about work.
- To relatives (to mother, to his sister). Often you can face this situation. The wife believes that a man should belong only to her and solve problems only within their family. Women from his “second” family should be treated with indifference.
- To the former wife. Common situation Most women cannot accept the fact that the husband used to share his bed with another.
- To the wife of a friend. Despite the fact that a friend has been married for a long time, some wives may perceive the spouse of a friend as a rival.
Where to begin?
Women who are jealous of their husband do not know what to do or where to start. To eliminate the negative feeling, it is recommended to start gradually and deal with your emotions. First you need to learn to talk heart to heart. Voicing their anxieties and the reasons for their manifestation will help to understand the situation. Most men think that talking about feelings is a waste of time. You can show the importance of such a conversation and bring relationships to a new level.
A heart-to-heart talk and without hysterics will show a man that he can be heard without complaint, and it turns out to discuss all problems calmly.
With this method, you can achieve a compromise and turn communication into a habit. It is necessary to admit to the husband that a feeling of jealousy gnaws at you and does not allow you to live in peace. You can ask to spend more time together and talk about what is missing in family life (attention, caress, love, confessions).
If there is a feeling that a man is deceiving, you can agree with a girlfriend about a secret meeting. This will give a personal secret and the realization that the husband may also have their own little secrets. This method will help overcome unreasonable jealousy and make life calm. To stop being jealous and not cheating herself, a woman needs to think about the fact that her man from a million other female representatives chose her. If he had a desire to leave his wife, he would have left long ago. It is impossible to keep a husband by any means if he wants to leave.
It is necessary to learn how to control feelings and live, enjoying every minute.
No man will like it when his wife pesters him with jealousy, constantly suspects of treason and checks.
You need to defeat a bad habit and give your partner warmth, calm and comfort. In this case, the pair will cope together and will always be there. From good wives do not go away.
How to stop unreasonable suspicions of treason?
There are several tips that help get rid of the constant suspicion of infidelity.
- Analysis of your own subconscious. You need to understand yourself, because unreasonable suspicions indicate a low level of self-esteem. You should learn to be independent and forget about infantilism. Most wives with jealousy are at home.
- Looking for time for yourself. You can find yourself a new hobby or get a job.
- Reconsideration of feelings. Love cannot desire to bind another person to itself. Real feelings are different in that during them you want to give more than receive. It is necessary to curb their emotionality, which does not allow to fight unwanted flashes of jealousy.
- When jealousness again manifests itself, you need to sit down and calm down. This will help complete silence. In this position, you need to sit for a few minutes and understand: is there a reason for jealousy in reality.
How to overcome distrust of her husband after adultery?
Some women cannot psychologically forgive their spouse treason. Another category may give a second chance. However, the feeling of mistrust after betrayal for some time is able to continue to exist in the family.If there is such a feeling, it should be understood: if the husband after the betrayal stayed with his wife, it means that he loves her. From emotional burdens there are special mechanisms. This is a psychological defense in which the function of the subject for self-defense is performed by the psyche.
The first method is called repression. The second name is forgetting the situation. All unpleasant situations need to be moved to your subconscious. A similar mechanism operates at the automatic level. If a woman has no mental problems, self-defense will work automatically. The second method is called rationalization. It can be used at a conscious level. Man himself is able to translate his feelings and emotions into rationalism. To do this, you should say to yourself: “If a husband has changed me and has not gone to another, it means that I care about him. So he loves me. ” This method is suitable for people who have a well-developed left hemisphere (techies).
You need to learn to trust your soul mate even if she once stumbled.
A woman is afraid of repetition of the situation, and the environment dictates its stereotypes: "The person does not change," "betrayed once, betrayed and twice." You can not give in to such provocations. You can only listen to yourself and your heart. Her husband needs to believe. If he, after having stumbled, repented of his deed, this action should be evaluated. A wise woman will forgive and forget. Further relations should be discussed in detail. You can’t just throw a dear person out of your life, just to regret it all the time. Everybody deserves a second chance.
How to get rid of jealousy of the past?
Getting acquainted with a man, a woman begins to worry that in the past he had a relationship. The feeling of fear from the fact that the husband could have been better all the time, does not allow to build relationships. To remove unnecessary experiences associated with jealousy of the former, you need to look at the situation from the other side. Since her husband had previously had experience in relationships, he has formed skills that he wants to give and demonstrate at the moment.
It is necessary to overcome jealousy and replace it with gratitude to the past, since it was she who made the man what he is now.
Also, a woman can worry about whether her husband has managed to forget past relationships. Since she does not know what kind of relationship developed in the past, the brain begins to draw different pictures. In this case, you should not ask your spouse about the past, as he will translate everything into a joke. According to practice, such questions are beginning to be asked by ladies who are not fully confident in their choice of the seriousness of the partner’s intentions.
You need to work on yourself and raise self-esteem. Then all the insecurity will disappear, and the woman will be able to trust her soul mate.
When internal conflicts are resolved, the relationship will reach a new level. If a man chose a woman and is next to her, she means a lot to him. You should not live in the past.
How to stop being jealous of your husband for your ex-wife?
Psychologists are advised not to think about what kind of relationship was between a husband and an ex-wife. It should focus on the feelings that are in the family now. This concentration of attention will help to direct the thoughts in the right direction and improve understanding between partners. This will help to become the most significant woman in the life of his man and help him to forget his past. No need to worry and ask meaningless questions. It is better to give your partner love, happy moments and your feminine energy. By filling yourself and him to the brim, you can remove excitement and jealousy, for which there will be no room.
Psychologist tips
Psychologists advise Fight jealousy with the following methods.
- One must always remember about self-control and not throw a tantrum without a reason. Jealousy should be removed from the relationship gradually, working through every suspicion that arises in the head.
- It is necessary to become a better wife for a husband.This will help cleaning the house, cooking, establishing comfort and parenting. It is important to show your key qualities of a homemaker that men like.
- If you can not cope with bouts of jealousy, you can make an appointment with a psychologist. Reviews will help you choose the right specialist at reasonable prices. Visiting the first session, you can understand how to move on.
- You need to start to monitor their appearance, so as not to waste time on spying on her husband. To do this, go hiking in the gym, yoga or dancing. Periodic change of wardrobe and image will help you to love yourself and reject negative thoughts.
- Every day should be found in the behavior of the husband's positive points. Finding something pleasant in everyday trivia will help to look at your partner differently.
Tips from a psychologist on how to stop being jealous of her husband, see the video below.