Pathological jealousy: what is it, what are the reasons and how to get rid of?

Pathological jealousy goes beyond the general psychology and is the subject of study of clinical and forensic psychiatrists. And all because it is a very painful condition that is dangerous for the jealous himself, and for the people around him. If nothing is done, it can destroy the personality, break life, cause a tragedy, which will be reported sparingly in the criminal chronicle. In this article, we will look at how and why paranoid jealousy develops, how to recognize and overcome it.

People believe that if he is jealous, then he loves. But in the case of pathological jealousy, everything is different. A person is constantly jealous, for no reason and reason, common sense and rational arguments are alien to him. With his jealousy, he torments himself and brings others to an extreme point; he becomes suspicious, aggressive, uncontrollable.

Is it a disease? Of course, this is a pathological mental state that some experts in the field of forensic and clinical psychiatry refer to as delusional disorders. Almost always this nonsense is accompanied by paranoid disorders - a jealous man not only suspects the other half of his infidelities, but is also sure that he is being poured into food and drink by means that reduce potency, they want to poison him, kill him. Some even believe that the partner changes at night, during sleep.

Officially, pathological jealousy refers to delusions of persecution. Often it is the initial sign of schizophrenia or psychosis accompanies.

Normal jealousy is considered a psychoreaction that nature has created to preserve a population. In other words, the jealous one tries to prevent the transfer of genes to the opponent. Pathological jealousy goes beyond the limits of this mechanism; it develops according to its own, painful laws.

In psychiatry and psychology, pathological jealousy has been studied for a long time. Jealous men who raise their feelings and suspicions to the degree of paranoia are found in all nations, the disease does not depend on race, age, social status and income level, or on gender. Often, the violation is accompanied by concomitant alcohol or drug addiction, but this is not a prerequisite.

Pathological form of jealousy occurs on average in 2% of the population. These are only diagnosed cases, and how many jealous people never come to a psychiatrist, considering their behavior normal! Statistics are disappointing: 34% of men who killed their wives, it was the infidelity of the second half that was the reason for the act. The facts of adultery, according to investigations, were confirmed only in 30% of such cases, that is, the majority of women died because of infidelity invented by their partner. Among women who killed their husbands, only 15% of criminals referred to treason. The facts of male infidelity in these cases were confirmed identically - 32%.

In forensic psychiatry, when such a disorder is found in a person, if it is proved that such jealousy is dangerous for others, the jealous person has the right to be placed on compulsory psychiatric treatment.

The most famous pathological jealous men are Bluebeard, Othello. The disease itself in some psychiatric benefits is called "Othello syndrome".

The reasons for the development of a state of irrational jealousy deserve special attention, because they appear for a reason, not spontaneously.For delusional paranoid mental disorder, prerequisites arise long before the first manifestation, and knowing the risk factors will help to avoid mistakes even before the official marriage is concluded or the partners decide to live together under the same roof. If you look at the partner more closely, the prerequisites can be seen in advance.

Most often, pathological jealous people are people with extremely low self-esteem. If a person is terribly afraid of being alone - this is also an alarming “bell”. The future jealous man, even in the candy-bouquet period, constantly asks and clarifies what his partner feels about him, since he doubts the sincerity of his feelings. Men and women with reduced sexual functions (this includes total infertility) have very high chances of becoming paranoid jealous in the future.

Other reasons can be described as:

• the presence of severe psychological trauma in the past associated with betrayal and betrayal (talking about parting because of the real infidelity of the partner, after which it was difficult for the person to recover, needed medical and psychiatric help);
• the presence of brain injuries, after which dysfunctions of his functions (epilepsy), as well as post-traumatic and congenital mental abnormalities: paranoid schizophrenia, depression;
• negative childhood experiences (parents refused, raising by grandmothers or in an orphanage, etc.);
• alcoholism, drunkenness, even if they were in the past, but cured, and today the person does not drink alcohol;
• vascular disorders in the brain;
• hormonal disorders;
• sexual dysfunctions (frigidity, impotence);
• menopause in women.

If, with the usual, generally normal jealousy, suspicions and experiences of one of the partners begin with certain direct or indirect evidence, that is, facts, then with irrational jealousy, the reasons are not needed. He makes up for himself events, facts, rivals or rivals, he “cultivates” his sufferings, and all attempts by a partner to explain that this has nothing to do with reality are perceived solely as a lie.

Even receiving convincing evidence of loyalty to his spouse or spouse, the pathological jealous man does not calm down, he sincerely does not believe in their authenticity, believes that those who provide such data are in collusion with his wrong partner.

Signs of such a mental disorder are most often manifested after the age of 28 years. According to the observations of psychiatrists, there are ages that are the most “dangerous” in terms of the development of symptoms - 30, 35, 37, 42, 48, 50 years and older. The elderly (after 65–70 years) are even more jealous than the young, especially for women who are in menopause.

For the jealous man of any age is characterized by the predominance of the personal over the public. He cares only about his emotions, many events of family life (children's successes, problems of parents) pass by him, he does not delve into them. But he can talk for hours about his own sufferings about his supposedly walking partner and his supposedly insidious acts and plans.

In the fair sex, the state of delusional paranoid jealousy most often develops against the background of postpartum depression or against the background of the outbreak of menopause. The development of a serious violation on the background of infertility or some external changes that cannot be corrected (obesity, cosmetic defects of the face and body after injuries, accidents, burns, the acquisition of disability) is not excluded. But other scenarios are possible: the disease has always been, since childhood, simply manifested itself later.

Women with pathological jealousy are like superspies. They can tirelessly keep track of their partner, check where he went with whom, what messages and letters are in the phone or in the mail from her husband, who called him. Some install partner tracking software, can go as far as installing hidden surveillance cameras in his car and in the apartment. Total control. A man can not step or step without the knowledge of his wife.

In representatives of the stronger sex, the state of pathological jealousy usually develops against the background of a large range of causes, among which not least the place is given to low self-esteem, failures in life, and sexual dysfunctions. Most of the jealous men do not want to follow and spy on their partner, although there are some “instances” who do not disdain by any means. A characteristic manifestation is the outbreak of unmotivated aggression. A man begins to scream, break, spread his hands for no apparent reason, spontaneously and suddenly.

Husband Othello ceases to show tender feelings for his wife, he goes to bed separately, avoids sexual intimacy, courtship, dodges embraces and kisses, often reproaches the spouse. He seeks to establish control over his wife's social circle: insists that she does not communicate with her friends and colleagues, in time (up to a minute) come home from work.

Men often become tyrants: they can engage in assault, restrict the freedom of his wife, closing her in the apartment, take away the telephone Often these men require detailed financial reports from the spouse for every penny she spends. They can blackmail children and even threaten to kill her and her alleged lover.

Like any other mental illness, jealousy without a cause has its own stages and forms of manifestation. Psychiatrists distinguish three stages.

• First, it is the most invisible, hidden. With her, the jealous man still has delusional ideas, at this stage he can still be convincing with arguments, though not for long.
• Second: obsessive ideas appear, arguments are no longer perceived. There is a desire to control the partner, but it still causes shame and embarrassment, and the jealous man gradually loses control over his desires.
• Third: a person is completely confident that his partner is cheating on him. Appears aggression, a person becomes dangerous.

The forms of the disease are classified according to the degree and nature of symptoms.

• Manic - it is impossible to convince a jealous man, he firmly believes in partner betrayal, is aggressive and inadequate. It is this form that most often causes the murder of a partner.
• Depressive - a jealous man goes into himself, avoids communication with his spouse, tries to isolate himself from his partner at any cost.
• Spontaneous - a person “explodes” from any unguarded word or deed of a partner, attacks of jealousy recede as suddenly as they began.
• Alcoholic - bouts of jealousy occur only while intoxicated. At the same time, a person gradually begins to take alcohol on purpose, in order to “suffer” once again and torment the partner, as he feels the need for these emotions.
• Paranoid - a form sophisticated and very insidious. A person suffers from paranoia about partner betrayal, he sets up clever “traps” and adjusts situations in which the second half must “pierce”, organizes surveillance.

Irrational jealousy is dangerous for the one who is jealous, and for the one who is jealous. Becoming a client of a psychiatric clinic is equally at risk both. Other hazards include:

• risk of suicide of one of the partners;
• beating and disability of one of the partners;
• murder;
• psychological trauma for children growing up in this family.

It is impossible to cope with such jealousy on your own, through a confidential conversation. This is a disease, and it must be treated by a qualified psychiatrist. After collecting the history and system of tests, the specialist will determine the type and severity of the disorder and help to cure it with medicines, hypnotherapy, NLP, as long as the jealous person agrees to therapy. Practice shows that getting the jealous to go to the doctor’s office is almost an impossible task.

Is there a way out? Of course have. The partner-victim can stay close and at the same time behave is verified: not to allow situations that irritate the jealous man, do not be late home. Psychologists are advised not to lie and not make excuses, it will only exacerbate the conflict.

How to get rid of jealousy and how to make a relationship happy, see the next video.