The feeling of jealousy is inherent in all people, but some have learned to restrain their emotions, while others have not. Jealousy is an indicator of self-doubt, the desire to prove their uniqueness. Very often in a married couple in the role of a jealous woman is his wife, who can inadequately respond not only to the communication of the spouse with other women, but also to his communication with the children from the first marriage.
Causes
Most people consider moderate jealousy to be an element of happy relationships, as it proves the affection and love of partners. But the unreasonable distrust of his wife can lead to attacks of aggression, which will adversely affect family relationships.
The reasons why a woman wants to control her man.
- Diffidence. Often appears among women who have not managed to get affection and care in childhood. Complexes acquired in their own family, prevent them from fully trusting a partner. It always seems to such women that they can be easily replaced, and therefore they are trying in every way to keep a loved one.
- Past treason. They make their wife more suspicious of their spouse, because behind him earlier there were episodes of infidelity. The betrayal of a loved one leaves an indelible imprint, which ultimately leads to constant bouts of jealousy.
- Sense of ownership. Makes the lady completely control the life of her spouse. At the same time, she can be jealous of her husband, not only to other women, but also to colleagues, girlfriends and even her sister or mother-in-law.
- Dissatisfaction with love relationships. It leads to the fact that the wife begins to demand love and caress from her husband. Lack of attention makes her suspect her lover of treason, which in fact may not be.
- High social status of the spouse. May make his wife constantly suspect him of infidelity. This happens, for example, if the wife is on maternity leave, and the husband is actively pursuing a career.
- Playful nature of her husband. Habit with everyone to flirt and make unequivocal hints annoying jealous. At the same time, this model of behavior does not always indicate the spouse's licentiousness. Sometimes he just does not notice that he says too much about other women.
- The influence of society. Sometimes the young wife’s subconscious mind is influenced by colleagues or friends, who convince the lady of the infidelity of all men. Constant examples and stories about male infidelity sooner or later make a woman jealous of her husband, constantly monitor and control him.
Not always baseless jealousy is the result of childhood trauma or social influence.
Love to drink can also provoke family scandals.
In alcohol intoxication a woman is capable of being jealous of a spouse not only for her best friend, but also for her own mother.
Second wife or jealousy of the past
Often a jealous wife begins a conflict with her husband because of the presence of his children from his previous marriage. Some women believe that a spouse wants to spend more time not with her child, but with her ex-wife. It is this idea that most often does not allow a lady to relax and enjoy love relationships.
A sense of ownership may occur in a jealous woman, if the husband not only spends a lot of time with the baby, but also takes it on a joint rest. Not every woman can cope with such competition and become a child friend.
The greatest fear of any woman is the break in relations and the care of a spouse for an ex-wife.
Therefore, any hint of any relationship between the beloved and the mother of his children is perceived by the woman as treason.
Complicate the relationship may parents of her husband, who are able to demonstratively show love for their elders.
This is especially acute when the fathers begin to compare children. At the same time, such actions are not necessarily aimed at prejudice to the younger grandchildren or express a complaint to the second daughter in law about the upbringing. Sometimes, so the father-in-law is nostalgic, sharing warm memories with the daughter-in-law.
How to fight?
As modern psychology says, women are more likely than men to be jealous. This is due to the well-established opinion of polygamy of the stronger sex. To learn how to control emotions and suppress distrust of the spouse, the wife must follow the advice of psychologists.
- Self suggestion. You must learn to love yourself and stop comparing with other women. It is necessary to understand that there will always be ladies who are distinguished by a more attractive appearance, sociability, showiness and so on. It is necessary to constantly convince yourself that your man will not find the best candidate for the role of wife. It is important to constantly remind yourself of your own positive qualities.
- The organization of joint leisure. A clever wife will find many ways to captivate her beloved, so that he chooses to spend his free time with family and not with doubtful personalities. To do this, the lady needs to study her husband's hobbies and try to become an ally for him. For example, if the spouse is an ardent fan of football, you should learn the rules of this game and try to constantly be aware of the latest sporting events.
- Participation in the life of a spouse. Many wives are not at all interested in the life of the beloved man, considering that the husband is able to cope with the problems himself. Such indifference can provoke a man to search for a woman who will support him in difficult moments. By creating a cozy home environment for your lover and becoming not only his wife, but also a friend, you can increase the chances of maintaining marital fidelity.
- Self development. Not a single man will want to be close to an unkempt companion; he will prefer an effective and self-confident woman to her. Therefore, it is important for any married woman to pay sufficient attention to her appearance. In addition, it is necessary to engage in self-development in order to demonstrate intellectual abilities to the spouse.
- Adoption. Every wife should accept the idea of possible infidelity spouse. It is necessary to understand that cheating on a husband is not the end of life, and no control and jealousy can keep a man from temptation. The adoption of such an outcome will help the lady easier to relate to marriage, and instead of tormenting the partner with constant suspicion, will give her the opportunity to engage in personal affairs.
To disaccustom the wife from unreasonable jealousy, the husband too should make certain efforts.
First of all, he should raise the self-esteem of his beloved. To do this, you must constantly tell your wife compliments, not being afraid to praise her.
As soon as the spouse feels her own importance and uniqueness, the number of scandals motivated by jealousy will decrease significantly.
Help the jealous woman can heart-to-heart talk. The husband should try to understand the causes of his wife’s pathological jealousy and try to find ways to eliminate them. Such dialogues are able to open a man's eyes to his own behavior and help a woman to release emotions.
A wise man in response to the provocative behavior of the beloved will try to smooth the situation, but it will not aggravate her. Responding aggression will not solve the problem, and avoiding the conflict will only add to the wife confidence in the veracity of her suspicions.For the sake of preserving the family, it is important for the spouse to learn to hold back and not to react to offensive accusations.
Some psychologists advise jealous husbands to give companions of life the possibility of surveillance. In this way, you can prove your lover openness and loyalty, which will help to calm the suspicious woman.
In rare cases, a partner may seek help from a specialist. Consultation of a psychotherapist will help to find the cause of the problem and the ways to solve it.
On how to properly deal with jealousy, see the video.