The traditions and customs of the Chechen wedding

Weddings in Chechnya are distinguished by their national colors. This is a rather beautiful event, consisting of a large number of rituals that have remained unchanged for several centuries.

A distinctive feature of Chechen wedding rituals is that they are observed with extreme precision, so as not to miss any of the customs. It should be noted that modern marriages in Chechnya are quite democratic. Contrary to popular belief, no one marries girls forcibly, because it conflicts with religious canons. Moreover, the Chechens are extremely respectful and delicate to the girls of their nationality, regardless of whether it is their daughter, sister, wife or just a stranger.

Marriage in Chechnya is possible only with the permission of the parents on both sides., other wedding traditions simply do not provide. Before matchmaking, the representatives of the groom carefully study the biography of his beloved, as well as the biography of all members of her family for at least three or four generations: it is important to completely eliminate the likelihood of incest.

Usually acquaintance of young people occurs in two ways.

• At the wedding of relatives: according to tradition, the Chechen wedding gathers a large number of guests, and among them there are always unmarried girls. Usually, in anticipation of the celebration, they do embroidery on handkerchiefs and must take them with them. During the festive event, the young Chechens consider these girls, and if one of them attracted someone, he passes a candy or other treat for her through a friend or relative. If a Chechen woman intends to respond with favor to the courtship of this man, she sends back her embroidered handkerchief, and the acquaintance is deemed perfect.
• If a young man likes some girl, but weddings are not expected in the near future, he can try to call her for a date. In this case, he sends his invitation through her friend or sister or through children. After they meet several times, a man can afford to talk about marriage.

When the lovers decide to tie the knot, the bridegroom must inform his plans for the female part of his family: mother, grandmother and sister. If they perceive such news negatively, then most often the man changes his mind. If women give their blessings, then the family sends matchmakers to the bride. For centuries in Chechnya, it was customary to steal the bride, but the current head of the republic, Ramzan Kadyrov, imposed a ban on such actions, stating that marriage should be based on love and mutual respect on both sides, and for those who decide to steal their beloved in the old manner, a serious criminal punishment.

The last word when deciding on the possibility of a wedding between the young is always for the father of the girl. According to tradition, a wedding can take place only if permission is given by representatives of both families. Matchmaking is a small feast, at which the matchmaker from the side of the man and the girl's parents are present.At this point, the guests report on the purpose of their visit, and the father of the intended bride makes a promise to think about the proposal.

If the parent replied with his consent, then the groom redeems his beloved. On the agreed day, the bridegroom comes to the girl’s house, as well as his closest relatives and certainly the mullah. For starters, the mullah is interested in the bride’s father’s consent to marriage, then the girl herself, and two married Chechen women must be present. After that, the mullah holds a special ceremony in a separate room, first with the bride, and then with the groom, then the young are considered husband and wife, and as evidence they are given a marriage certificate.

The size of the ransom that the family of a man before the wedding must pay for the young one is determined by the mullah. According to the traditions, the Chechen fiance pays even more ransom than the mullah will determine - this is how he demonstrates his best intentions, emphasizes his gratitude to the girl’s family for her education and skills. The procedure of matchmaking and ransom in Chechnya is treated with great scrupulousness: the groom is made to understand that his beloved is more than just a beautiful girl, more than money and property. She is first of all the mother of his future children.

As for the dowry, it is not accepted in Chechnya.

The wedding ceremonies of the Chechen people are replete with various interesting ceremonies and beautiful ceremonial gestures. From the very early morning the bride goes through several rituals, the first of which is bathing. A young room is fumigated with various incenses, filled the bath with water and poured herbal infusions into it.

Then the girl puts on a dress. It is necessary that it be sure to the floor, with well-closed shoulders, arms, back and decollete area, and a festive kerchief is tied on the head. A sharp needle is usually attached to the hem, and a small handkerchief with a ribbon and a small silver coin is placed in the hands of a young one. These gifts the girl will then take care of the rest of her life: it is believed that they are her amulet, protecting against evil forces, poverty and poverty. Even in the evening, the girl collects her things, where relatives secretly put apricot seeds or beans: thus, they want young fertility and the early appearance of the first-born child.

Meanwhile, preparations for the celebration begin in the groom's house. It is here that comes the motorcade, consisting of a large number of expensive and beautiful cars, with the best cars intended for the girl. This motorcade goes to the bride, where the mullah, along with the young ones, considers special surahs from the Holy Quran. Then the best man leads the girl three times around the hearth, and then symbolically breaks the rope - this is how he tears the young girl away from her parents' house. The girl sits in the car and goes to the house of her future husband.

Usually, relatives of the girl in every way impede the departure of the convoy. They pull the rope or put a variety of obstacles to get paid. All the money collected during this ritual is then given to the bride, thus emphasizing that it is she who becomes the mistress of the family. In the house of a man, a mullah completes a wedding ceremony, and from that moment on, the couple becomes already married. When the man comes to the man’s house, another check awaits the girl: a small carpet and a broom are waiting for her on the way to the house of her mother-in-law.

According to the customs, male relatives should shower the girl with money and candy, and then pour a mixture of honey and butter in a spoon and give her mother-in-law first a drink, and then the youngest. At this moment, shots are usually heard that are intended to scare away evil spirits. It can only be a bogus gun, since firearms in Chechnya are officially banned. The traditionally Chechen weddings are held in a restaurant, so the best man takes the girl from her husband’s home and leads to the festive event, where, in accordance with tradition, her place in the corner is reserved for her.

It must be said that the ceremony of celebrating marriage for a girl is rather difficult: despite the fact that everyone can come to the wedding, the very young person herself is obliged to be in the far corner, while she is forbidden to drink, eat, or even move. From time to time, a friend or relative may approach her, but only the mother-in-law or sister-in-law can sit at the table, and then at the very end of the ceremony, after removing the veil from her.

But the young spouse does not catch the eye of the wedding guests at all: he celebrates in a separate room with his closest friends. All other guests are located in a large hall. Usually the event is held by imal-tamala, who leads the process, he also announces the beginning of the dance. Usually the dance floor is divided into two zones: ladies in one part, men in the other. Joint dances are not allowed here.

At the table, men also sit apart from women, while they are arranged according to seniority. Small children have no place at all - they spend time near the set table. The bride's family usually does not take part in this event, so for them such a holiday is rather a sad event.

At the end of the holiday at the Chechen wedding, it is customary to give gifts. Usually they are selected based on the status of the young spouse: the higher he is, the more expensive the gift should be. In previous years, household appliances, carpets, and livestock were most often given. Nowadays, preference is increasingly given to money so that the couple themselves can dispose of the funds and get what they need.

Another interesting tradition is associated with gifts, dating back to the old days. There was such a custom: if a brother married, his sister first opened his wife's suitcase, looked at things and took what she liked. Apparently, the girls did not really want to part with expensive items, so they began to prepare a gift for their sister-in-law: as a rule, this is a ring or other jewelry that they put right on the suitcase. Thus, the husband’s sister realizes that this gift is for her and no longer claims anything.

After the wedding, the spouses have to go through some more interesting rituals. Chechen marriage customs are very complex and sometimes require the manifestation of endurance, strength and presence of mind. But all of them are aimed at demonstrating mutual respect and exceptional generosity. In addition, such a long and serious ceremony symbolizes a responsible approach to building a family.

This ceremony is intended for the girl at the end of the first wedding day. The mother-in-law and other relatives of the spouse come to the house to the young ones. The young ones begin to make fun of their wife in such a way as to cheer her up, but she should certainly restrain herself in every possible way: do not laugh and not say a word. After that, the men present begin alternately to ask her to drink, in response, the girl should bring a bowl and stretch it to the oldest and most respected of them with the word “drink.” In response, he is obliged to give something to her, otherwise the newly-made spouse has the right to completely stop communicating with him. The husband also tries in every way to talk to his spouse, but she must resist until he receives a gift from him.All the money received during this fun ceremony girl usually gives her mother in law.

This is a very important rite that completes wedding ceremonies. On the wedding day, a needle is pinned to the hem of the bride, and in the evening of the same day she must bake a pie with this very needle inside. The young wife takes this treat with her, as well as the jug and goes with her friends and friends to the nearest pond. It is customary to throw the cake into the water and fire it with a gun, after which the young one should take water to the jug and take it to her new home.

A month after the marriage ceremony, the man must visit the house of his spouse's parents. With him, he usually takes expensive gifts, and relatives of the girl covers the holiday table. To begin with, the young man’s parents sit down at the table, meet each other, but then they leave, and the young man returns: he faces another serious test. He should try to enter the house shod, but so as not to offend their new relatives. Friends help him in this.

After that, friends of the husband and native girls are seated at a meal so that the girl’s family is on the one hand, and the boy’s friends are on the other. At the same time, the man himself must stand at a distance, his head bowed dutifully. It is in this position that he needs to stand all the time while the feast is going on, and if children approach him, they should definitely be treated. After a few hours, the women take the husband to another room and already there offer him treats.

At the very end of the ceremony, the spouse must put money on the dish, and his wife's sister must hand him a gold ring in response. For this, a man presents a girl with a gold bracelet, and the ceremony is held. The newly married spouse goes to the guests and again takes his former place aside, where he will stand right up to the very end of the holiday. Usually, the girl-wife is also brought to her family near the end of the evening. It happens that she even remains to spend the night in her native walls, and in the morning her husband takes her.

What else you need to know about wedding Chechen customs, see the video below.