Wedding: features, rules and history of the rite

Wedding is a very serious step and a great mystery in the life of a couple of loving people. Not many people decide to marry, because this process holds the hearts and destinies of two people not only on earth, but also in heaven.

Wedding is a church rite, which is held on or after the wedding day, a few years later. Wedding means that God blesses a man and a woman for a peaceful life in love and understanding. The meaning of the name of the ritual lies in the fact that crowns, which are made of metal, often of precious stones, are placed on the heads of the spouses.

The meaning of the wedding for the Orthodox - to receive the blessing of the Lordas well as his protection for his family. No need to consider wedding as a formality. Also, this should not be some kind of pretentious event, the goal of which is only one - to attract more eyes to its solemn event.

Each couple must know that they marry not for show and not for others. From this it follows that they are crowned only for themselves. Therefore, before going to church, you need to think carefully and weigh everything: do you need a wedding ceremony for these two people, and are they ready to go through their whole lives hand in hand.

Such questions sometimes put the young in a stupor, and this can only mean one thing: you should never hurry. That is why many priests say that middle-aged people who came to church for the blessing of marriage do not have pathos and solemnity. They only have grace and acceptance of the fact that church marriage will make them even closer and more honest with each other.

The wedding is held only for Orthodox, baptized men and women. If they are not baptized, you need to wait a little with the wedding. To begin with, the priest advises to come to God through the rite of baptism and only then think about whether a person chooses this woman or this man for the whole life. It must be remembered that the wedding ceremony is a union of people forever, and the reverse procedure, unlike a divorce in the registry office, is not so easy to conduct. Not every priest will go for it.

It is believed that the later the wedding ceremony is held, the more conscious this step. Therefore, it is not necessary to hurry with such a serious decision, and get married right away on the wedding day with a man who is not always as familiar as one would like. After all, the real disadvantages in most cases open after marriage.

But if the young just decided to get married, then the possibility of a ceremony is determined not only by the couple, but also by the church, and it has a number of prohibitions. Wedding is forbidden in the following cases:

• young or one spouse is not baptized;
• in the previous marriage, the spouse was married, and the procedure for debunking was not carried out;
• one of the young has already had three official marriages;
• one spouse professes another religion;
• with the possibility of having a relationship in the third knee.

According to biblical writings, the first to marry before God were Adam and Eve. There is no clear description in the Old Testament, but everything indicates that there were two ceremonies: the engagement ceremony and the wedding or the wedding.Practically all believers had such a scenario: Jews, Greeks, Romans, and then, when Christianity came to the Russian land, this ceremony was held in Russia.

In the New Testament, church marriage is very clearly described when a combination of two people should be blessed by a bishop. From the 15th century, a priest was invited to the wedding, who read a prayer to sanctify marriage. But later, these two events: the wedding and the feast, began to distinguish, and the sacrament of the wedding took place exclusively in the church.

Tsarist Russia endowed church marriage with legal force. The wedding ceremony always took place with witnesses or guarantors. But it was not always so. Until the XVII century, Russia knew only about the national wedding. In those days, the care of the family was entrusted to the good spirits who lived in the forests. Therefore, during the marriage, the young were led around some bush and tree. Also, the Slavic rite included dressing hands, offering a ring and other decorations, eating one food or drink.

The scenario of the wedding before Peter I is remotely reminiscent of a modern ceremony. Young walked across the threshold of the church, holding the handkerchief, blowing out candles at the same time. Just like now, they would stand on a towel in the middle of the room, the priest would throw a handkerchief over the tied hands of the young, and at that time they would perform a detour.

Well, after Peter I ordered to consider only that marriage as legal, which was concluded by the church, all the Orthodox recognized the church marriage. The rite itself is not very different from the modern wedding ceremony. True, the presence of the parents of the young is now allowed, while Peter I, under pain of terrible punishment, forbade parents to enter the church at the moment of the couple's wedding.

When describing wedding ceremonies in Russia in the 18th-19th centuries, attention should be paid to royal weddings. The decoration of the church during the wedding of tall people was performed in an incredible way. The rich decoration of the temples, the splendor of luxury and the clothes of the priests suggested that kings were competing with God. The road from the house to the temple was covered with a carpet of various colors, and at the time of the wedding the servants already decorated the processions with shiny ribbons, bells and wild flowers.

At the time of the arrival of the Soviet authorities, the registry offices took over the official marriage registration. The church ceremony was forgotten, but he did not admit the state and was persecuted. People who entered into church marriages were dismissed from organizations, expelled from the Komsomol. Believers, as well as those willing to get married, were very few, and even if the wedding ceremony was held, the family kept this information secret, in order to exclude the negative in their direction and towards their children raised by Soviet teachers.

After the collapse of the USSR, the state again turned to the church. Sunday services, campaigns for the sacrament and the baptism of the child began to revive. Wedding ceremony again became for the Russians something high and holy. Weddings in modern Russia have taken their place in Russian families. Newlyweds increasingly want not only to register their marriage in official bodies, but also to ask the Lord to combine them with holy church marriage, which cannot be destroyed by anyone and nothing.

Of course, the wedding process itself should be carried out only once and for a lifetime. But there are times when a ritual of debunking is carried out, but for this to happen, something very serious must happen. In this case, the excuses that the husband and wife are tired of each other, do not fit. A serious reason for debunking can be a betrayal of a spouse.

The church does not approve and does not support decisions about debunking, because it considers the wedding ritual thoughtful and conscious of both spouses. But now this rite is perceived by young people as something stylish and thematic, but not serious at all. Young people do not think in advance why it is so necessary for spouses.Therefore, when deciding on the possibility of a wedding, it should be discussed with both parents and the priest.

It often happens when a young couple comes to an interview for a wedding ceremony and then leaves, abandoning it. And this is right, because it is better to enter into a church marriage, when a person is tested by time and by God.

Permission to re-wedding gives only the ruling bishop. He can allow it if he sees that a person is weak and cannot restrain his carnal desires. Also re-wedding is allowed for people divorced against their will, and widowers left with a small child. A re-wedding excommunicates the parishioner from the sacrament for 2 years, and the third marriage separates him from the opportunity to partake for 5 years.

In the second marriage, the couple, in addition to the prayers for the joyful event, will hear prayers and for repentance that they did not observe the rules of the church in the previous marriage. The third marriage is an exception to the rules and is only a calming of the carnal desires of man.

In total, the number of weddings with one believer, an Orthodox person can not exceed three times in his life. The fourth marriage is prohibited by all the rules and canons of the church.

The church has long been deciding whether to put the crowns on the heads of the re-marriages or not. In the end, she still allowed the wedding re-marry. If a widower and a widow are married, the crowns are held on shoulders. The third marriage does not allow the use of crowns during the ceremony.

The time of year for the wedding is chosen by the young themselves. They must decide for themselves what time of year suits them best. There are many superstitions and will take on this moment, but if a person is superstitious, this entails the question whether he is Orthodox. Therefore, you should not spend time searching for the happiest day for the ceremony, as no horoscopes will help if the young are simply not ready for this serious step.

A woman, in particular, needs to podgadat the day when she will be "clean", because during menstruation the entrance to the church is prohibited. As for this moment, there are both those who disagree with the ban on the entrance to the temple, and ardent opponents of visits to the church during bleeding.

Nowadays there are priests who allow a woman to stay during the menstruation period in the temple. They say that the woman is not to blame for this, and can in no way physically influence this process. In the church, ministers should first think about her soul, and also respect the wishes of the spouses. Based on this argument, a ban on the wedding ceremony should not be, if the young are determined to fasten themselves with the bonds of a church marriage.

But more often than not all the priests are so loyal, so you need to go to your priest and ask in person. In particular, this question may arise in a girl who finds it difficult to track her menstrual cycle and correctly set a wedding time at the moment when she is “clean”.

With regard to specific days of the week, the day can be chosen any except Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Usually the sacrament of the wedding takes place after the Divine Liturgy, around 11 o'clock in the afternoon. Fasting is also a ban on the wedding ceremony. For example, Christmas, Assumption and Lent.

First of all, you must choose a church. For this you need to know what ceremony the young want. You can choose a large beautiful temple and invite many guests. But if only young people and their assistants are present at the ceremony, then a small church will do. And, in general, it is worth traveling, seeing and feeling which church will be more comfortable for the young.

When choosing a church, attention should also be paid to the fact that the duration of the procedure varies. If we consider the metropolis, in which there are many beautiful temples, then you need to know that the influx of those who wish there is always considerable.Therefore, if the young decide to get married in such a place, then perhaps there will be several pairs during the wedding, and the procedure itself will take about 20 minutes, as the priest may skip some texts.

If this option does not suit you, you need to go out of town. There are fewer people there, and the scenario in which the ceremony is conducted is the same, and even longer, about 1.5 hours, as the priest will not hurry and will do everything as befits the age-old Russian wedding ceremony.

Choosing the date of the celebration, it is worth discussing it with the fatherand also to learn from him about the cost of the service and the possibility to conduct photography and video filming. Not all churches are allowed to shoot or are allowed to do this only in certain places. Most often, the church is not very good lighting, but because a photography specialist must come to the site in advance and pick up the necessary accessories for work in order for the photos to be perfect.

It is better for a couple if only she gets married on the day of the ceremony. The priest may say that this is just superstition, but the presence of only one pair on this day is desirable.

The wedding rite of marriage implies a bell ringing at the end of the ceremony, so it is worth agreeing with the priest about this. You can even make some donation to the church, if the priest does not immediately agree. The bells notify the angels of the emergence of a new family, and they pray for the health and happiness of the family and future children.

If the decision on the wedding does not leave the young, and they by all means decided to fasten themselves with the bonds of a church marriage, then they need to know how to properly prepare for this ceremony: what to take with you, and what to give to the priest already on the eve of the celebration.

Witnesses are not a mandatory item. If the young people decided that they could not cope without help, then it is necessary to choose Orthodox baptized people as married people as guarantors.

It is also necessary to fulfill a number of church regulations.

• Communion is a mandatory procedure before the wedding. For this you need to fast for at least 3 days.
• 12 hours before the celebration can not eat and drink.
• Before communion, prayers must be said to Jesus Christ, the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel, as well as follow. You can purchase a prayer book in the temple.
• Wedding rings - those that will be in the hands of young people, must be purchased in advance, and on the eve of the wedding they must be handed over to the priest to bless them.
• Even for the ceremony buy a bench hammer (embroidered towel), two high white wedding candles, icons of the Mother of God and the Savior, and even small scarves under the candles to avoid wax on the hands.

• Wedding preparations can also exclude the use of alcohol and cigarettes 12 hours before the event.
• Do not forget about the official document of registration of marriage in the registry office.

As for the rings, there are two versions for determining the choice of the metal from which they are made, and they absolutely contradict each other.

One of them says that the bridegroom is worn with a silver ring (in ancient times it was an iron ring), and the bride has a gold ring. The rings were a reminder: to the wife - about the sun-husband, and to her husband a silver ring with its silver glitter reminded of a power, always walking moon, following the sun. And the version that contradicts the first one is that the wife’s ring, on the contrary, should be silver and her husband gold. This type of selection of rings is explained by the fact that gold personifies Christ, and silver - the purity of the church, as well as the purity and chastity of the wife. The choice of accessories is always young.

The rings are chosen smooth and simple, so that the young people live together smoothly.

If the wedding and the wedding take place on the same day, those girls who choose an open dress with a deep cleavage, bare back and shoulders for both ceremonies are very casual. This kind of absolutely not allow for the bride in the church during the wedding. It is appropriate to have a fluffy dress of direct cut with sleeves to the elbow and not very high heels. The latter condition rather simplifies the stay of the bride in the church, rather than being a requirement for her appearance. The time spent in the church during the wedding ceremony is 1 hour or longer, so it will be very uncomfortable to stand in high heels for an hour.

In connection with such requirements, these two events are desirable: wedding and wedding, not to arrange in one day in order to observe all the rules of the wedding and look decent, participating in the ceremony.

During the procession, you can cover your head with a veil, but it is undesirable to cover her face, as the bride should be open to God. The color of the dress can be any, but it is necessary that the shade is light and pale. White is the perfect option for a bridesmaid dress. About the decorations in the rules did not say anything, but moderation and modesty is welcome.

Regarding the makeup of the bride, they say that he, too, should be quite restrained, and you need to take into account that you cannot kiss the cross with lips made up with lipstick that gets dirty. It is necessary in this case to choose cosmetics that leaves no residue.

It should be noted that selling a wedding dress is by no means impossible. It is stored in the closet next to the baptismal clothes. This dress is quite possible to wear to the office, if it is not too solemn. The wedding dress is sometimes left as a legacy to the daughter as a reminder of the parents, and that they lived in a blessed, Orthodox family. And of course, you can not throw out the dress, cut, as it should remain as a memory of the solemn day, when the marriage of two hearts was gifted with the love of God.

Any woman cares about her hairstyle, so before performing it, you should ask the priest if the crowns are put on the heads of the spouses.

If, besides the young ones, other guests are present at the ceremony, they should not forget about the rules that exist in the church. For example, it is not permissible for women to come to church in trousers. The heads of female guests should be covered. All those present should carry body worn crosses.

Not everyone knows about the rules of the rite. Many spouses simply do not see any reason to know in advance what and what should follow, what prayers you need to know, when you need to be baptized, kiss the image or attach to it. Some do not even know how to be baptized. In this case, it is advised to read the relevant literature initially, so as not to look silly during the wedding. But fortunately, only those who go to church more than once, receive communion and confess, decide to go to the wedding.

The church marriage ceremony itself consists of two stages: the betrothal and the wedding. If the spouses were baptized at birth with a different name, then it is worth informing the priest.

Engagement represents the moment when a wife is accepted from the Lord’s hands by the husband. Introducing a couple into the temple, the priest by this action marks the beginning and birth of a new family. After the priest has brought a couple into the temple, he baptizes them and gives them lighted candles, which symbolize the young people’s ardent and strong love for each other.

Next, the priest praises God, and then he prays for the young on behalf of every guest in the temple. In prayers, he talks about the purpose of matrimony - procreation. The father also asks the Lord to bless those who marry in good deeds.

Then they put rings on the fingers of the young — first on the husband’s finger, then on the wife’s. The ring is a symbol of the inseparable connection of two people, and he thus says that the union that takes place in front of God between two people becomes inseparable. After the young change rings three times. So the ring of the husband remains on the wife's finger. This means that throughout his life together he undertakes to help his wife, support her and donate everything to her. The wife’s ring on her husband’s finger tells of her eternal obedience, immense love and willingness to accept sacrifices.

The next stage is the wedding. The young people are introduced into the center of the temple, and they step on the towel, spread out in front of the lectern. They express their consent to enter into a church marriage. Those who marry also confirm that they are not bound by any promises to outsiders, and after the fulfillment of this condition the natural marriage is considered to be concluded.

Then the marriage is sanctified by divine grace, and this act begins with liturgy. The priest read out three prayers to God, in which he asks to bless the marriage, to give them children.

After this comes the most solemn moment - the laying of crowns on the heads of the young. Crossing over her husband, the priest gives him an attachment to the image of Christ, and likewise the wife is put to the image of the Mother of God on her crown. The priest asks the Lord himself three times to marry the young, and on behalf of God blesses the couple for marriage. This is the most solemn moment of the emergence of a new Christian family. Then the priest reads the Gospel, and then together with the young and the guests sings “Our Father”. Afterwards, the priest gives three times a sip of wine, first to the husband and then to the wife.

Then he joins the hands of husband and wife, covering their stool and putting his hand, marking the transfer of his wife to her husband from the Church, which connects the young in Christ. A three-step move around the lectern is accompanied by the reading of three troparias about the glorification of Christ. This move marks the eternal move of the young in life hand in hand.

After the prayers, the couple fastens their bond with a chaste kiss. Coming to the Royal Doors, the bride kisses the image of the Virgin, and the husband - the image of Christ. Then they change and are applied to the images of the Mother of God and the Savior.

After the ceremony, the young usually go home or to their parents to celebrate a happy event for the family. It is important on this day to keep humility and gentleness, and therefore you should not call the noisy companies, 3-5 closest people are enough, with whom you want to share your joy on this day.

Many couples, having decided to get married, begin to look for information about the signs associated with this sacrament. And they really are, because the wedding is a very old custom, and during its long, long history has gathered many beliefs about itself. The priests try to explain to the young that there is no meaning in the signs. Signs are groundless, mostly contrived, and are a product of people's imagination. Nevertheless, modern girls still believe in omens, try to observe them, and notice every little thing that may indicate the outcome of the wedding.

It is believed that the best time for a wedding is the last day of the first week after the end of Lent, or the so-called Red Hill. And this fact is rather contradictory, since the Red Hill is in fact a pagan holiday, and it has nothing to do with the church. He was celebrated by the Slavs as the end of spring and the birth of a new life.

At this time, young people met on the hill, sang songs and made friends. In this regard, the Red Hill is also symbolized with the birth of a new family.After that, it was believed that the wedding on this day marks a happy marriage and a long happy couple life.

Other signs about the wedding start from the threshold of the bride's house.

• After the young ones left for the temple, they washed the floor in the bride’s house so that she would not return to her parents.
• Hot, sultry weather is not the most favorable sign, which is why the couple considers autumn or spring to be the best time for a wedding.
• You can not cross the road a couple who goes to get married.
• In order for a couple to live happily in a marriage, you need to put an open lock under the threshold, and after the couple has stepped over it, close it, throw out the key, and leave the lock young.
• At the solemn ceremony of a church marriage, the couple must go healthy, otherwise you can marry with your illnesses and not recover from them.
• If before the wedding ceremony to swear to each other in eternal love and loyalty, standing at the well, then the marriage of young people will be unbreakable.
• It is impossible on the way to the church to call each other by name, otherwise the couple will conflict a lot.
• Bad signs are weather factors. If a blizzard and storm has broken out, it will be a bad omen, and the wedding will not be completely smooth.

Many legends are also associated with rings, and will accept superstitions.

• In Russia since ancient times it was believed that the ring and do not need to wear. The husband’s gold ring was deposited with the wife, and the wife’s silver ring was given to the husband.
• If there is a thread on the ring, then it is to the bumps on the road of life, and the stones on the ring are tears.
• Buying rings should be carried out only together.
• You can not buy rings in a hurry. Recommend to take care of the purchase at least a week before the event.
• Rings should be size in size, not small and not large. It is not recommended to redo them to fit your size, as well as to use the decorations of your parents or relatives for making rings.
• For weddings do not use rings from past marriages.
• Wedding rings can not be worn on gloves, so before the ceremony they need to be removed.
• It is impossible to separate the budget for the purchase of rings and it is necessary that both husbands buy both rings so that there is no disagreement in the family.
• Rings can not be shown and given to measure another person. Otherwise, one of the spouses will be a traitor.

Superstition touched not only the rings, but also the clothes of the young.

• If on the eve of the wedding a button or some item of clothing has come off the dress, then this is to trouble.
• On young clothes you need to pin pins against the evil eye.
• You can not wear a wedding dress until the wedding - the wedding will not.
• The wedding dress of the bride should be integral, and not divided into a corset and a tutu or skirt. Observing this sign, the bride protects herself from divorcing her husband.
• On wedding clothes, the number of buttons must be even, otherwise the spouse is waiting for treason.
• Flowers in the hair without a veil and other coverage promise an imminent break in relations.
• You can not come to the wedding ceremony in shoes with open toe.
• The wreath on the bride's hair at the wedding ceremony looks very cute, but he will not bring her happiness, she will quickly become lonely and unhappy.

Seeing young people in the church and the rite itself is also overgrown with a web of legends and will accept.

• Children are blessed by parents with icons of the Mother of God and Savior. If in gratitude the young people bowed simultaneously, then the marriage will be a long one.
• The young should enter the temple from the right foot.
• At the entrance to the temple, the witness of the rite should lay a rushnik under the feet of the young, who will step on it first, will be considered the head of the family.
• Wedding candles are given out to the couple, which after the ceremony, like the towel, should be picked up. Candles can be lit during illness.
• During the ceremony, when crowns are put on the young, they do not look into each other’s eyes. The look should be directed at the priest conducting the wedding ceremony.
• If after the wedding rain pours from the sky, a rainbow comes out, it will mean a long life together in joy and harmony.
• After the ceremony, it is necessary to return by another road, and not the one on which the young went to church.
• The crowns, contrary to popular belief, should be worn on the heads of the spouses. Otherwise, such a church marriage is invalid.
• If the candles crack, then the marriage will be unstable.
• Whose candle burns longer during the rite, the spouse will live longer.
• The rain, which went during the procession, promises about the imminent wealth of the young.
• In Russia, it was such a belief that before going to bed, wedding rings with wine were placed in wedding cups. Only after drinking the cup was possible proximity.
• After the wedding ceremony it is necessary to look with your spouse in one mirror. After this marriage will be happy.

Now, due to the fact that weddings are often celebrated together with a wedding celebration, the young after the wedding and the wedding ceremony are going to ride, take pictures in parks and squares. But it is believed wrong. After the wedding, you need to go home so as not to lose that grace and happiness that they found in the church. During the walk, the bride can catch an unkind gaze from passers-by who are unhappy, often the young or both spouses can jinx it, and therefore if they cannot go directly to their parents, they should take care of protection from the evil eye and bad thoughts.

Young after the wedding often make cash donations. There is also a sign to make a ritual gift to the church in gratitude for the sacrament. A traditional gift is fresh bread in a snow-white cloth or a towel.

The essence of the wedding ceremony, see the following video.