Today, the wedding can be considered obsolete, lost the value of the rite, however, for some newlyweds and more experienced spouses, it is still relevant. Wedding ceremony is an important event in the fate of the family, because it unites the immortal souls of people forever, which means that after death the souls of this couple will meet in a better world and will be together. Wedding is a very important step, to which it is important to be morally and spiritually ready, which means not only deciding how important it is for the family, but also going through a whole chain of important preparatory traditions that will strengthen the awareness of the need for a wedding and set the newlyweds in the right way.
Fundamental rules
Like any other rite, the wedding ceremony follows a certain scenario of actions and a number of immutable rules. Newlyweds must remember each of them and warn their guests about them, so as not to offend the feelings of the ministers of the church.
- Loud conversations, laughter, rotozeystvo, the use of swear words, an indication of church decoration with a finger are not allowed in the church. These are not only church rules, they are also generally accepted rules of etiquette. Violation of these simple rules indicates a person’s bad manners.
- In the church there is a strict dress code, violation of which suggests that a person has a bad soul and impious.
- Witnesses and parents of the newlyweds must confirm their consent to this marriage and bless the young.
- Some holy fathers are asked to provide a marriage certificate as evidence of the seriousness of the intentions of the young.
- Most churches do not crown minors, although according to the rules of restriction are as follows: boys are not younger than 18, and girls are not younger than 16.
- Women over 60 and men over 70 are not allowed to the wedding. This is explained by the fact that such a marriage is doomed to sterility, since the fertile age of the newlyweds has long been released. However, this rule does not apply to couples living in legal marriage and having children.
- Prohibited the wedding of blood relatives.
- It is unacceptable to marry couples in which one or both partners have not dissolved previous legal marriages. And, of course, the wedding for people who were previously married is unacceptable.
- If one or both spouses had 3 or more marriages earlier, such people are also not crowned, because they are unreliable.
- Both newlyweds must necessarily be baptized Orthodox.
How to sign up?
The question of how to register for the wedding is not entirely correct. In fact, it is not as easy as it seems. In this case, many churches have their own rules. In order to conduct the wedding ceremony will have to pass an interview with the priest. During this interview, the priest learns about the life and acquaintance of the young, will appreciate their intentions. In addition to the interview, the young will receive a large list of preparatory rituals, which the father will also tell in detail.
If the priest remains satisfied with the newlyweds, he will most likely give his blessing to the marriage and offer to choose a date. In the opposite situation, young people will receive a number of recommendations, following which you can convince the priest of the seriousness of their intentions.
In addition to the interview, you will have to make a charitable donation to the temple. As a rule, in each temple there is a fixed amount, which is desirable to pay, it can vary from 1500 to 5000, depending on the size of the church and the demand for its services.
What to buy?
The sacrament of wedding is a ritual conducted according to a single, strict scenario.
To hold it you will need:
- the icon of the Mother of God (sometimes the Savior or both);
- church wine, which can be purchased in the church shop or shop Cahors;
- napkins or shawls for candles;
- candles;
- wedding rings;
- rushnyk
The rushnik should be large so that the newlyweds can safely stand on it.
Previously, such towels girls independently embroidered for the wedding, putting in them a ritual meaning. Today rushnik easier to buy. The drawings on it should symbolize the long joint path of the young, so a pair of pigeons or swans, rings and flowers would be appropriate here.
Wedding rings should be modest, you can choose rings with engraved symbols of the church or simple, classic wedding rings.
As for the icons, the ideal option is family icons with which the parents of one of the newlyweds married. If there are none, then parents can purchase the icons and present them to the young.
How to prepare?
By the wedding, young people should cleanse their soul and body from unholy thoughts, sins of a previous life and so on. Therefore, there is a strict rules of preparation for the wedding. It includes fasting, confession, and communion.
In order to maximally cleanse the soul before the wedding, you need to properly prepare for it, and you should start with the post. The length of the post does not matter much, however, it must be long enough for the young to realize its purpose. During fasting, you should exclude meat and dairy products, fish and seafood, eggs from the diet. Unacceptable use of any alcohol. During this period, you can eat cereals, vegetables, fruits, mushrooms.
However, there may be some changes in the diet of the fasting in case of need nutrition for medical reasons, in this case, you need to discuss the rules of fasting with the priest.
A week before the end of the post it is necessary to abandon sexual contact. Fasting is a way to purify the spirit, and for the newlyweds it is also a reason to devote time to each other, spend time strengthening the spirit, read prayers together, and ask the saints for blessing. This rule is important for both newlyweds and married couples, as they are equal in the face of the Orthodox Church. In addition, the action of this rule does not end with the end of the post. We must continue to fast in an intimate plan until the very first wedding night, which will take place after the wedding ceremony.
On the eve of the wedding or a few days before it is necessary to confess. Confession is a conversation with the priest about everything that does not give rest to the soul. During this conversation, you need to confess your sins and mistakes, to do it sincerely and of goodwill. This will help release the soul from the burden of sins and allow you to marry a purified, renewed person. After a confession one cannot sin; it is important to keep the bible's commandments as carefully as possible, control one's thoughts, prevent bad thoughts, so as not to have time to accumulate new sins. After the confession, it is necessary with an open mind to give generous donations to the poor and destitute to confirm the purity of their soul.
Communion will hold a priest on the day of the wedding before the ceremony. As a rule, this occurs during the morning liturgy. Young people are invited to taste the "blood and flesh" of the Holy Spirit - a sip of wine and a piece of bread. This ceremony is intended to bring the young to the holy action, to bestow them with divine grace.
It is important to remember that we should not skip any stage of preparation, since they are all designed to maximize the young before the wedding. Newlyweds should enter the new life without the burden of a past life.
How to prepare for the wedding, you will learn by watching the following video.
What to wear?
The church is a temple, which must be entered with a pure soul and respect for its servants. Here, as nowhere else, it is important to strictly observe the culture of appearance.The very clothing of the newlyweds must speak of the purity of their souls and their piety.
In the case of the groom, the witness and the male guests there is nothing particularly difficult. The main rule for a man in the church is a ban on wearing hats. Otherwise, there are a number of simple recommendations. For example, you should not choose too bright, flashy colors of a suit or accessories. The Bible teaches its followers modesty and restraint, bright colors in clothing contradict these dogmas. For the same reason, it is worth removing the rings away, too catchy watches, chains, and so on. Uncivilized and inappropriate in the church will look like jeans, sneakers or sneakers, shorts, T-shirts and other elements of "street" clothing. It is better to give preference to strict suits in shades of gray, black or blue colors or pants and a modest, restrained jumper.
In general, the same rules apply for brides, witnesses and female guests, but there are many more subtleties that should be taken into consideration. So, for girls in the church stay uncovered. Wedding guests can prefer elegant hats, light kerchiefs, and veils are ideal for the bride.
When choosing a veil, you should make sure that she covers the entire head, for a wedding it is better to choose a veil that covers the hair and face.
For women, the presence in the church in trousers is unacceptable, and the dress must hide the knees. But the bride should stop the choice of a dress to the floor, since such a dress is a symbol of innocence. The shoulders and arms must be hidden by at least 2/3 of clothing, that is, the elbows must be under clothing. Therefore, the bride should choose a dress with sleeves or supplement the open outfit of a bolero with sleeves.
The color of women's dresses is to choose the most light - it symbolizes the purity of thoughts, which is why brides most often wear white dresses.
The bride, the bridesmaid and the guests should remember that the wedding is a rather lengthy ceremony that will have to be held standing. In this regard, it is worth taking care of comfortable shoes.
The bride should eliminate jewelry as much as possible, this is especially important in the case of hands, because a new, most important decoration - a wedding ring will appear on the bride's handle. The abundance of jewelry in the church will give the image of the bride of vulgarity and cheapness. In addition, gloves will be out of place in the church, since they will have to be removed before the exchange of rings - this is at least not aesthetically pleasing.
In preparation for this rite is worth remembering about the special make-up. On the face of the bride should not be too much makeup. The emphasis should be on the eyes, and it is better not to paint the lips at all, because during the rite you will have to kiss the bible and icons - it’s not very good to leave traces of lipstick on such things.
What do witnesses need to know?
The tradition of inviting honorary witnesses to the sacrament of the wedding dates back to the distant past of Orthodox Russia. Once upon a time, a wedding was the only way to document a marriage, in those days there were no other registries, except for the parish book. In order for the holy father to be sure that the young people were ready for marriage and their clean and serious intentions needed people who could confirm all this. As a rule, these were faithful parishioners of the church who knew the newlyweds well. Witnesses gave recommendations about the newlyweds, however, the witnesses themselves became the successors of this couple (almost as in baptism - the godparents). The newlyweds were supposed to set an example for their witnesses.
Today, wedding options with witnesses and without them are acceptable. The main criterion in choosing witnesses is that they should also be baptized Christians who recognize the value and importance of the sacrament of the wedding. During the ceremony, they do not have too many responsibilities: they must hold the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds and submit rings.
It is worth noting that keeping the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds is not an easy task.Crowns are rather weighty and they will have to be held on arms extended upwards, which is quite difficult.